I was keeping up with the CL scene right here thanks to CL Cruiser, in fact that's how I became aware of it and that's how I got laid for $75, oh yeah! Here's the low down on my down low.

I checked out CL for, like, months just watching everything going on, including the CL wars that CL cruiser writes about. I was inclined, finally, toward an ad by a girl calling herself Ki Ki, a sorta redhead, sorta brunette (but she's not "sexy red") who seemed too plain to be a decoy. But I was really suspicious, because she had clothes on, and I've been told you can't trust them if they don't disrobe. But then she put up an ad showing her coochie, plain as can be. Bingo.

So I called her one night, and she said she was out in Richfield at a particular location. She was prepared for me to come out there, gave me fairly good instructions and everything.

So I researched it, and it appears there aren't prostitution busts in Richfield, not like Minneapolis and St. Paul. I was prepared to go out there the next night, so I called her again, and this time, when she picked up, she wasn't in Richfield, she was in Minneapolis at a cheap hotel within walking distance of the light rail. (better not to blow it and say where)

this was doubly encouraging, because I didn't have to get in my vehicle and go to a strange suburb and because her switching cities reinforced my gut instinct, checked and double checked, this wasn't a sting. So I negotiated with her on the phone, without, of course, saying anything about money for sex.

I asked if I could still get the $75 special. She hesitated a moment, then agreed. I asked if she would agree not to take phone calls while we were having a session. She agreed. I asked if she would prove she was "for real" by "coming to the door naked." she laughed out loud and said, "I can do that, actually." I told her I was on my way.

I knew the area where I went, including where to find an ATM if I needed, though I already had my cash. At the cheap hotel, I saw a black guy walking around in the parking lot with an oversized four door late model car, looking very much like a pimp, and keeping an eye on me. Smiled, nodded in a friendly way, not overbearing.

I called her. I said I would soon be there. I went up to the room number she gave me. She actually had to check the room number because she said she forgot. I didn't know what to think of that. I didn't know whether to be alarmed.

She answered the door. She was just as plain as I anticipated, but fuckable, but the problem was she was fully clothed.

"I thought we had an agreement," I said, a little stern.

"I'm sorry, you got her so quick, I thought you were on your way," she said. ( Which was true, I could see that)

"how about I go and come back?" I said.

"Ok," she said, meekly.

I walked away, honestly intending to leave and not come back. I got about half way to the light rail. A car passed me. I figured if it was a decoy, the police would be swinging by to "have a little talk" with me by now. I mulled it over. I turned back. I went to the room.

She answered the door, a sultry shadow behind the door, opening it, a shadow of boobs and hips. Perfect. I entered the room. I looked her over. I've had better, and I can honestly say I've had worse, once, but she sure had a compliant attitude and the promise was $75. I reached right down and gave her pussy a squeeze of my hand. She only said, "yup, I'm a girl."

the bold pussy greeting is, of course, "Minnesota style" since cops can't make sexual contact. So you gotta do that right away.

I asked if I could sit on the bed and talk, taking off my shoes. (I hate wearing shoes. I'm a country boy transplanted to big city ways) she sat there, naked. I reassured her that I liked how she looked. I'd have to say there is a hot girl buried inside of her, and if she lost some weight, she could charge twice as much. Her attitude is an 11, I could almost tell that before I fucked her, and I sure knew it after.

Pussy hair, auburn. Belly button piercing. No heavier than my ex-wife, and it wasn't going to cost as much to fuck her. I was paranoid enough to reach over and turn up the television, then negotiate in a whisper. In the unlikely event the police had a decoy willing to be cunt-spread, cunt-grabbed naked right in front of me I wasn't going to let evidence be easy to gather.

So I told her: blow job, then a variety of positions. I held out for one finger up her ass when I was trying to come. She said, "oooooh" to that. She thought about it. I said I would be very gentle and she could use lube. She agreed but said she didn't have any lube. What is up with girls who don't have lube?

So, yeah, I'd already thrown the money on the dresser per the ritual. I got naked. She walked over to count the money, apologizing, saying she'd had guys who tried to short her. She wanked at my dick for a while. I was already hard from negotiation. She slipped on the condom. She sucked me. She was a good, dedicated sucker. I had the sense she would have sucked for as long as I wanted. Auburn hair that used to be long, but had been cut shorter, recently and nicely done nails. But, you know, very much on the plump side, the sweet little honey-cakes. Such a good attitude, though. I don't want to hurt her feelings if this gets back to her.

I had her lay on the bed and stood beside to put it in her mouth. I reassured her she was in control, and I wasn't going to move suddenly and make her choke. (If she knows me, maybe another time she'll do that for more money) she sucked like that, and I made her spread her legs while she sucked. Her cunt smells, of course, but it wasn't bad, it was just cunt. I'd asked if she wanted me to shower, and she didn't. She offered to, but I told her she didn't have to.

Did her mouth for a while at some point she took off her little glasses. I'd had enough of her first hole, so I got on the bed and fucked her missionary style. Not any real preliminaries before I put it in her, just, you know, spread your legs. Pounded her like that. I could see myself in the hotel mirror on the dresser. I made her put her legs up on either side of my chest. I gave her cunt a workout, made her turn to her side without having me pull out I fucked her more that way.

I like to make girls change positions without, you know, pulling out. So when that got old I told her to stand beside the bed and I was going to fuck her from behind. I did that for a good long while, until I figured she was going to start calling "time" or something. Remind me to bring a clock next time. Seriously! I'm bringing my own damn clock the next time. It's hard to keep track.

I told her that I was going to try to come, now, so I was going to slide a finger into her butt. I worked it in slowly. I urged her to push a little, like she was taking a BM, and it would be easier. She laughed a bit, and that caused her to relax, and it went in further. I told her, "see, when you laugh, you relax."

she was clawing at the sheets in an erotic way, probably hoping that would help to make me pop. I touched her lovely hands, and asked about her manicure. $22, she said. I guessed correctly it was a Vietnamese girl who gave it to her. I said, "only a Vietnamese girl gives a manicure like that for $22."

worked that finger deep, deep in her backdoor while fucking her. I could feel my dick sliding in an out of her cunt through the finger in her butt hole. That was a first. Usually I've had my finger in their butt while they suck me off. I'm surprised this girl would let me use spit for lubrication. Makes a guy wonder. On the television, the fresh Prince of Belaire was in court with wacky carlton while I rammed her, and made her moan with a finger in her asshole.

So I pounded hard and fast and, well, shot my load in her. I pulled out, took the condom off myself and threw it in the trash. I went right for the sink, washed the finger that had been up her ass. I saw her red bra, her clothing lying there by the floor.

She was friendly afterward. I got myself dressed. She didn't even put on her clothing. I shook hands with her, saying, "oh, don't worry, I just washed it" she gave me the obligatory whore-hug and peck on the cheek.

So, boys, I opened up that asshole a little, but perhaps I can get more. Ki ki said she's a small town girl and came here because her mother moved to the cities. Being very polite, and lavishing her with compliments seemed to get me everywhere. I'm hoping it will even get me Greek, but I don't want to spend my money too fast.

Anyway boys, Ki Ki is for real. And there wasn't a peep out of her about more money. $75 got me oral, vaginal, and a finger inside her very soft, round, white girl booty. At some point I asked her (while I was pounding her in missionary position) about the black guy outside, if he was a friend. She admitted he was, that he "looks out for me. "

A masterful pimp, I must say. He was not scary, (but I wouldn't want to deal with him) and he wasn't up in my business, and he sure has Ki Ki trained well, trained to spread her legs, except Ki Ki could answer the door naked a little faster. He should get Ki Ki a nice exercise bicycle and make the girl eat a lot of salads, and she'd be worth twice as much. She'd be healthier and feel good about herself, too, the dear loving little sweetheart.

So that's the deal, and I am CL satisfied!!! Thanks a big bunch, CL Cruiser and all the other helpful people who have been giving the good info about Minneapolis/St. Paul here is a brother paying you all back.  

The following review was posted on CL about Scarlet a.k.a. "Sexy Red." It was almost certainly posted by Red, herself. She may have stopped the capitalization thing, but her weakness with the English language still comes through:

seen Miss. Scarlet as she calls her self now, once known as Sexy Red. I was very scared to go and met with her because of all the bad reviews she has got. When I arrived she opened the door in almost nothing, she looked amazing. Still very afraid of not knowing what was next, I slowly went on with her and the service. She surprised me, I thought she was gonna be lazy and no good but she was good at what she did and I made her cum to, no lies I felt the juice.

12/15/04

I was recently paging through the City Pages, A Minneapolis alternate news, strip club and sex workers for hire paper thats free just about anywhere around town. Anyways the escorts here never seem to return your call or even show up for that matter, but I did find a small diamond in the rough.

I called May, a Thai or Cambodian girl, most likely 33, claims to be 24. I had called her and actually had the call returned, I was asked if I wanted in or out call service, since I had rented a car I drove to her, her place was in a busy apartment building near the Mall of America.

I felt safe, so I went on in, when she answered the door I was surprised at the cuteness of this woman. I would give her a 6.5 of 10 on looks, she had on a silk nighty with a larger than normal breasts, very plump and very real. I was asked with a sexy Asian accent to pay and to remove my clothes.

As I laid on the massage table she removed her clothes and began a good massage, as I flipped, I could not hide the pulsing hard-on I had for the last 25 minutes. I just let it fly, as I laid there naked with my cock ever erect. She continued the massage, by this time I was hoping to have had the accidental rub or touch we have all seen in the massage parlors around the world. I couldnt wait, I was so turned on by this time I asked here if she could finish me with a sex, blow job or hand job...anything.

She said she was not a prostitute but she could give me a hand job, I agreed and out came a rubber glove, yes a rubber glove!!!!, and I was able to touch her body "EXCEPT" for her breasts and pussy. At this point I didnt care, she acted out giving me head and making some noise while she stroked my cock with the ky heat jelly on her glove, about 4 minutes into this I let out a small shreek from the last hours non stop erection and shot a load all over my stomach and chin. She said to me Good...Very GOOD!

She continued to sqeeze the last of it out on a towel she had for me and wiped my chin and chest off, gave me a small kiss on the cheek and complemented my not so big cock, she said she prefers the smaller ones, it turns her on more. I cleaned up, said goodbye and was on my way back the the hotel, the experience was fun but left me wanting more. I offered her the moon for sex but was left with a firm NO!

I work with NWA and Im in Minneapolis a lot and I would suggest this for a safe non threatening experience if you are out near the Mall Of America or the airport and have an extra $120.00 to blow, just close your eyes and say "I'm not in Pattaya no more". Here is the ad from the paper - Asian Model - May - 5'5", 115#, 34B-27-37. Sensual massage by appointment. In/Out $80/hr.

Day 2 12/16/04.

Ok, after last nights fun, I was recommended this place in downtown Minneapolis called Massage Masters, I came to find out a legal jack-off and live sex show parlour with bondage and everything.

As I entered the door a nice man answered the door and walked me into the waiting room while he called 3-4 girls in, out came 2 Asians, a beautiful black girl and a South American beauty. I was undecided so the girls left and he handed me a book with girls that were on call and some provoctive shots with my host fucking some of the models in the book and that were on duty. He was the inhouse live sex star, what the hell, I wanted to see this guy fuck the little Asian with his white whale of a cock. I also asked about job openings...he laughed!!!!!!!!!!!! As I sat in this room the 2 entered in towels and disrobed and walked by me to the bed, it was oral sex for both. I watched the poor girl struggle to take his cock for about 5 minutes. It finally popped in, many positions and 20 minutes later he removed the rubber and shot a small load on her tits, they were done and sweaty, I was hard as nails, I left and whacked it at the hotel.

My conclusion is in the Twin Cities it is hard to find paid sex with pretty escorts because either they dont exist or never call you back if they are around.

I was in Burnsville, Minnesota in September (2004) and looking for a service provider in this Twin Cities suburb. I called and then went to the Keep In Touch massage, at 1100, East County Road 42.

It's in a strip mall with Caribou Coffee, etc. One look at the place and the "literature" they handed me at the door, including assurances that clothes would not come off, genitalia would not be touched, blah blah, was enough for me to figure out this was a "legitimate" massage parlor, meaning "no sex."

Well, hell, without the "legitimate" parlors, how would the illegitimate ones have an excuse to operate? Save your time and effort and look elsewhere.