- Thailand Other Dated Added: Sat Jun 23 2001 Submitted by: Noi
"The Story of Noi - a Thai bargirl" : The source of this text is ~~unknown. It has been widely distributed on the Internet and on various mailing ~~lists. Regardless of its source it rings true and is a very typical story of why ~~so many Thai women from upcountry get involved in the sexwork industry:
~~
~~"I was born into a small village in Isaan, in the north east of Thailand. My ~~mother and father worked
~~hard as farmers and did there very best to give me a good life. I have 4 ~~brothers and 2 sisters but I am
~~the youngest in the family. I am lucky to be the youngest because that makes me ~~special. My family
~~has always spoiled me but I also have a special responsibility to look after my ~~parents, as they grow
~~old. It is very important that the youngest daughter takes special care of ~~elderly parents and I am
~~privileged to have this special role.
~~
~~I remember when I was six years old; electricity first arrived in my village. It ~~was amazing to be able to
~~flick a switch and have a light come on. It was two more years before we had ~~running water in out
~~house. I used to love going to the river with my mother to get water. All of us ~~kids had a great time
~~playing in the shallow water while our mothers did washing and stuff. When I was ~~seven, a special
~~project done by Americans put taps in every house so that we could have water ~~whenever we
~~wanted. My mother was very excited but I liked going to the river better.
~~
~~The village school I attended was a lot of fun and I really enjoyed learning ~~about things. I was second
~~in my class and everyone used to think I was really clever. While we were ~~learning all about our
~~culture, I could see many things changing in my village. I suppose we were poor ~~but nobody knew
~~that then, so I was not worried about it. If the rainy season was good there was ~~always plenty of rice
~~to eat and when the rice harvest wasn't so good, everybody shared what we had ~~and nobody was
~~starving. Our family was the third family to get a TV when I was nine years old. ~~I had seen a TV before
~~when we went into town but having one I could watch whenever I wanted was very ~~nice. One of my
~~older brothers had a job in the city and although he did not earn much money, he ~~saved enough to
~~buy the TV for us.
~~
~~When I finished junior school at 12 years of age I wanted to go to high school ~~but my parents could
~~not afford the fees and they wanted me to help around the house and on the farm. ~~My oldest brother
~~was already married and my parents had to pay a big dowry, 30,000 baht. His new ~~wife was very
~~beautiful and her family was quite rich with a very big rice farm and they also ~~had a small pick up
~~truck.
~~
~~More than anything else my father wanted a truck just like theirs. One day ~~someone told him the bank
~~would lend him the money to buy a truck because our farm was very valuable. You ~~can't imagine
~~how excited we all were when Papa bought the truck home for the first time. I ~~did not know much
~~about money and banks but I know now we had to pay 30,000 baht interest each ~~year for ten years
~~and after 10 years all the original 300,000 baht had to be paid back. By now my ~~second brother was
~~also working in the city and he could help a little bit with the loan payments. ~~Over the next few years
~~all my brothers got married and all found good wives with good families. My ~~parents were very proud
~~of this and although they had to borrow more money for the dowries, they did not ~~mind. They were
~~very proud that my brothers had such fine wives and in our village everyone ~~thought we must be a
~~very good family.
~~
~~When Nit, my eldest sister got married we had a very big party. Although her ~~husband's family were
~~not as rich as us, they paid 20,000 baht for a dowry and Pong, her husband, came ~~to live with us.
~~When the babies started arriving, I helped my sister at home and I also helped ~~Pong on the farm, as
~~my parents were now too old to do too much work. These were very happy days for ~~me and I did not
~~mind the hard work.
~~
~~I was 20 when I found out my father was very worried about the bank. One way or ~~another he had
~~managed to pay the interest each year but the loan would be finished in 3 years ~~and if we did not pay
~~it back the bank would take our farm. It is tradition in my village that the ~~farm would be split between
~~me and my sisters and our families. If we lost the farm, I would never find a ~~husband and with no land
~~how would I support myself.
~~
~~The loan was now 500,000 baht because my father had borrowed more to pay for my ~~brother's
~~weddings and had also brought a motorbike for Pong and a washing machine for ~~Mama. I had never
~~heard of anyone having 500,000 baht and could not imagine how our family would ~~ever get such a
~~big amount of money.
~~
~~There was one lady in our village who owned a very big house and seemed to have ~~all the money
~~she wanted. She was married to a farang from Germany and spent a lot of time ~~away from the village
~~with her husband in Germany. Every year she came back to the village for three ~~months and lived in
~~her big house. I was too afraid to speak to her but I heard many stories about ~~how she got a farang. I
~~used to dream about finding a rich farang to be my husband. He would take care ~~of my family and me
~~and we would all live in a big house and I would have many babies and life would ~~be wonderful.
~~Although I dreamed about it, I had no idea how to actually find a rich farang. I ~~had seen a few in the
~~big city near my village but I had never spoken to one and would not know what ~~to say if one spoke
~~to me.
~~
~~One day, Toi, an old school friend of mine was visiting the village. She had ~~gone away to Bangkok to
~~look for work. She told me about a place called Pattaya where lots of farang ~~came to look for a Thai
~~wife. She said I could make very big money if I came to Pattaya and worked in a ~~bar and went with
~~farang and if I were lucky, a rich one would marry me and take care of my family ~~and me forever. It
~~sounded just like my dream but the part about going with farang shocked me. I ~~thought about it
~~every day and how all my family's problems would be fixed if I did it but I was ~~terrified of the idea.
~~
~~Then the Thailand economy got very bad and my brothers all lost their jobs. We ~~could not even pay
~~the interest on the loans let alone pay back the 500,000 baht. My father who ~~used to be a very happy
~~man became withdrawn and never spoke to anyone. He was very worried because our ~~farm has
~~>been in the family for hundreds of years and it seemed he was going to be the ~~one to lose it. Then
~~he got sick and had to go to hospital. There was something wrong with his heart. ~~The doctor said he
~~could not do much at the government hospital but for 200,000 baht he could have ~~an operation in a
~~private hospital that would fix the problem.
~~
~~Mama wanted to try and borrow more money from the bank to pay for the operation ~~but Papa would
~~not let her. He said he was old and it would be a waste of money. I used to go ~~to the government
~~hospital every day to bring him food and to hold his hand. One day I arrived ~~with my mother and his
~~bed was empty. He had died in the night and they had already taken him away. I ~~cried and cried and
~~cried but Mama was very strong and made all the arrangements for the funeral. ~~She had to borrow
~~money from my uncle to pay for everything but it was very important for her to ~~give Papa a good
~~funeral.
~~
~~Now we were a very poor family and soon we would lose our land as well. I prayed ~~to Buddha every
~~night to help but things only seemed to get worse. I knew I had to do something ~~but the only way I
~~had ever heard of making big money was to work in Pattaya. I phoned Toi in ~~Pattaya and asked if she
~~could find me a job. She said it would be easy and I could stay in her room as ~~well if I liked. I thought
~~and thought about it, not sure if I could really do it. Somehow I found the ~~strength to go and see my
~~uncle to borrow 350 baht for the bus fare. I told him I could get a job in a ~~restaurant in Pattaya. I think
~~he knew what I had in mind as he looked at me in a funny way but he leant me the ~~money anyway.
~~
~~I told everyone the restaurant story and everybody came into town too see me off ~~at the bus station.
~~On the twelve-hour ride to Pattaya I had lots of time to wonder about the ~~future. What would Pattaya
~~be like, could I find a rich man to take care of my family and me and what would ~~it be like to talk to a
~~farang. I was terrified and excited all at the same time.
~~
~~Toi was at the bus station to meet me and took me to her room. It was small but ~~comfortable and she
~~shared with three other ladies. Twenty minutes after I arrived it was time for ~~Toi to go to work. She
~~dressed in very sexy clothes and put on make up. Next to her I really looked ~~like someone who had
~~just walked off the farm (which is exactly what I was). I could never wear ~~clothes like that and I was
~~already thinking this was not such a good idea. She took me to the bar and ~~introduced me to the
~~Mamasan. A. A was a very nice lady and said I could work at her bar if I liked ~~but first I could just
~~watch and see if I liked it.
~~
~~Many farang came and went and the other ladies all seemed to have fun talking ~~and laughing and
~~even kissing them. I had never seen so many farang in my life but I could not ~~understand a word they
~~said. One tried to talk to me but I did not know what he was saying and I felt ~~sick in my stomach. I told
~~Toi I was going for a walk and as I walked along the beach, I saw things I'd ~~never seen in my life and
~~couldn't even have imagined before. Bars and farang and Thai girls everywhere. ~~Huge shops with
~~things for sale that I had never seen before. It made my head hurt just to look.
~~
~~I sat down near the beach to try and think about what I was going to do. A ~~farang came up to me and
~~touched my bum and said some things I didn't understand. It scared me and I ran ~~away back to Toifs
~~bar. I told her about the man on the beach and she laughed. She said girls that ~~didn't work in bars
~~went to the beach to find farangs. She said he wanted to have sex with me. I ~~couldn't believe it and
~~felt incredibly stupid. It was all too much for me and I asked Toi if I could go ~~back to her room. The
~~next day I borrowed the bus fare from Toi and was on the bus home ± this was ~~something I could not
~~do.
~~
~~At home everything was familiar including all the old problems. I cried every ~~night because I was so
~~stupid and could not do what had to be done to help my family. I had to find the ~~strength somewhere
~~to get the money. I made offerings to the spirits and prayed really hard for ~~Buddha to help me. I went
~~to the temple and talked to a monk about the future. He told me I would have a ~~rich husband within
~~two years and all my problems would be solved. He also gave me a special ~~blessing to help me find
~~the strength to do what I had to do.
~~
~~My uncle gave me the money for the bus fare and before I knew it I was back in ~~Toifs room in Pattaya.
~~This time I didn't think about it but just told A, I wanted to work. Toi tried ~~to help me put on some
~~make up but it never looked the same on me as it did on her. I worked for three ~~days in the bar
~~without ever talking to a farang. I learned to play the connect 4 game and on my ~~fourth day I played it
~~with a farang. He was very old and hairy but he seemed to like playing the game ~~with me although I
~~could only say hello in English.
~~
~~He talked to A and said he wanted to take me short time. I didn't know what that ~~meant. A told me I
~~could go with him for two or three hours and we would have sex and then he would ~~give me 500
~~baht. I was very scared but said OK. We walked what seemed a very long way at a ~~very fast pace and
~~then got a taxi to his hotel. In his room I had no idea what to do but he ~~pointed to the shower so I
~~locked myself in the bathroom and showered for about thirty minutes. Then I ~~heard a knock on the
~~door and he said something so I thought I'd better come out. I wrapped a towel ~~around me and came
~~out. He wanted to kiss me but I felt sick so just kissed a little bit. He went ~~to have a shower and I got
~~into bed.
~~
~~I was a virgin and had no idea what to expect. When he came out we had sex. It ~~hurt me and I bled on
~~the bed. He seemed angry with me because he thought I was having my period. Then ~~he gave me
~~500 baht and told me to leave by pointing at the door. I showered quickly and ~~then left the room. I had
~~no idea where I was and could not find a taxi to take me back to Toifs room. I ~~started walking and
~~could not help crying. I felt very bad and knew I was doing something that was ~~not good. Still I had
~~made 500 baht in twenty minutes. My brother had to work for seven days to make ~~that sort of money.
~~
~~I soon got used to working in the bar and even learnt a little bit of English. ~~Some of the men were
~~kind to me and some were horrible. I got used to having sex and although it ~~always hurt a bit I didn't
~~mind because I was making good money. At the end of the first month I was able ~~to send 10,000 baht
~~home. That was more money than I had ever seen in one place before in my life.
~~
~~One day a younger than usual guy came to the bar. His name was Mike. I liked him ~~right away and he
~~seemed different from the others. He paid my bar fine and took me to an ~~expensive restaurant to eat.
~~One meal cost 1,000 baht. That would be enough to feed 40 people back home. We ~~talked with the
~~help of phrase books and he made me laugh a lot. Then we went to a disco. I am ~~not a very good
~~dancer but when they played some Isaan music I introduced Mike to Laos dancing. ~~We had a lot of
~~fun that night and we got back to the hotel something strange happened. For the ~~first time I actually
~~enjoyed having sex. Mike seemed to go much slower than other farang and I really ~~liked kissing him.
~~
~~The next day we went to the beach and up a big tower before we went back to the ~~bar. Mike paid my
~~barfine for 6 days ± the rest of the time he would be in Pattaya. It was the ~~best week of my life. We did
~~many things I'd never done before; he brought me presents of clothes and a gold ~~necklace. On our
~~last day together he said that he loved me and wanted to take me home to his ~~country. I couldn't
~~believe it and felt really excited. It seemed that all my problems were coming ~~to an end and the life I
~~had always dreamed of was about to begin.
~~
~~Mike said that he would have to get special papers for me to be able to go to ~~his country and that he
~~would be back within three months to get me. I had to make a passport in ~~Bangkok. He said he
~~wanted me to stop going with farang and to work as a bartender in the bar. He ~~spoke with A who said
~~that I could do that if I liked. When he left for the airport I thought my heart ~~would break but I was
~~happy that he would be back in three months to take me to my new life.
~~
~~Mike gave me 3,000 baht to get my passport but he didn't give me any money for ~~the week we spent
~~together. I though that was strange but Toi and the other ladies in the bar said ~~farang were really
~~funny about giving money to their girlfriends. Once we were married, money would ~~not be a problem.
~~I could not live on the 3,000 baht salary a bartender got let alone send money ~~home to help my family
~~so I had to keep going with farang. I decided not to tell Mike because I was ~~afraid he would be angry
~~with me.
~~
~~I told everyone about my rich farang who was going to marry me and take care of ~~my family for ever
~~after. Some of the girls in the bar said I should keep it a secret as farang ~~were always bullshitting and
~~maybe I'd never see him again. I knew they were wrong because the bond between ~~Mike and me was
~~very special. He rang me every week to update me on progress with the visa and ~~to see how I was. It
~~was very difficult talking on the phone because my English was no good but just ~~hearing his voice
~~made me happy.
~~
~~Sometimes when he rang I was with a farang but my friends at the bar would tell ~~him I was sick or
~~had a day off. Soon we were making plans for our reunion. I had my passport and ~~Mike had all the
~~papers for a visa. I had already arranged to go back to work as a bartender ~~before he arrived.
~~
~~The day he walked back into the bar I was so happy and excited I thought my ~~heart would burst. He
~~wanted me to stop working so that he would not have to pay a barfine everyday ~~and of course I
~~agreed. I had our last two weeks in Thailand all planned. Three days in Pattaya ~~with just the two of us
~~and then one week at my village so Mike could meet my family and then the last ~~few days in Bangkok
~~sorting out the visa and airline tickets for me.
~~
~~The first two days were great and it was just like old times. Mike was not very ~~happy on the bus trip
~~back to my village. He said the bus was no good and the traffic was no good and ~~the food was no
~~good but I supposed it was a big change for him.
~~
~~When we arrived in the village everyone was there to meet us. We had a big party ~~that night and I
~~asked Mike to buy some beer and whiskey for everyone. He seemed surprised that ~~he had to do this
~~but we all had a good time and got very drunk. When it was time to go to sleep ~~Mike wanted to sleep
~~with me. I had to tell him that was against our customs and he would have to ~~sleep in the room with
~~the other unmarried men. He was very unhappy about this but agreed reluctantly.
~~
~~The next day my uncle who could speak a little English had a talk with Mike. He ~~wanted to discuss
~~how much the dowry for me would be. My mother was very excited that I was going ~~to marry a rich
~~farang and was wondering how much money she would have after paying off the bank ~~loan. When
~~my uncle asked Mike how much he wanted to give, Mike just laughed. Later he told ~~me he was not
~~going to give anything as he was marrying me and not my mother. I was horrified. ~~How could I
~~explain this to my mother and what about the family's problems. If I went away ~~with Mike who would
~~look after my family and how could they pay the bank.
~~
~~I tried to explain our customs to Mike but he did not seem to understand. That ~~night I cried again for
~~the first time in three months. What was I supposed to do now? Everything was ~~going wrong and I
~~didn't know what to do about it. Mama told me that if I married Mike I would be ~~finished as far as the
~~family was concerned. She said he was no good and stupid as well.
~~
~~The next day Mike wanted to go back to Bangkok. He said the village was dirty ~~and boring and too
~~hot without air conditioning. He also hated the food. As we traveled back in the ~~bus we were both
~~very quiet. Everything had gone wrong and I didn't know how to fix it. We stayed ~~in a hotel
~~somewhere in Bangkok but Mike said he wanted to go out alone and think about our ~~problems. He
~~did not come back that night till 3 in the morning and when he did come back he ~~was drunk.
~~
~~He said he knew I had been seeing other farang while he had been away and that ~~my family only
~~wanted his money. He said it was a stupid idea for him to marry a slut anyway ~~and he wanted me to
~~go back to Pattaya in the morning. I couldn't believe things had turned so bad. ~~I thought I had made
~~everything good for him but he seemed to hate me. I couldn't sleep with him ~~while feeling so bad so I
~~spent the rest of the night sleeping on the bathroom floor.
~~
~~The next day Mike gave me 100 baht for the bus fare back to Pattaya and told me ~~to go. I cried all the
~~way back to Pattaya. What was I going to tell everyone at the Bar? What bad ~~thing had I done to make
~~everything so bad? I knew everyone would say I was stupid to love a farang. Many ~~people told me
~~farang only think of themselves but I thought Mike was different.
~~
~~Mike went home two weeks ago now and I know I will never see him again. I have ~~hardened my heart
~~and will never make such a stupid mistake again. Next time a farang loves me I ~~will get as much
~~money from him as possible but I will never open my heart to one again. It hurts ~~too much and I think
~~I hate them all. I don't understand why they are so rich while we are so poor. ~~What I do understand is
~~that I need money for my family and I am going to get as much as possible. What ~~happens to me
~~doesn't matter but I want to do everything for my family.
~~
~~I have not contacted anyone in my village since Mike left. I don't know what I ~~can say to them. I have
~~lost so much face I don't think I can ever go home again. I still send the money ~~though and I'm
~~earning even more now because I am learning how to get as much out of the farang ~~as possible. (Review # 3836)
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