Men aren't the only ones who can have a good time in Thailand. Especially in Phuket, I have had some great experiences with the girls at massage parlors and at the girlie bars on Soi Bangla.

It's not hard to get a hand job, usually a great one. Many seem to have the same technique, so I think they are taught how to give a girl a good hand job when they are trained in the massage courses. They kind of circle my clit before pumping their hand in. I come two or three times in one massage. I have really firm big tits too and they love to play with them. I usually tip them about 1,000 baht.

Not all of the girls will go down on me but some do, especially at one massage place near the Laguna Phuket complex. It is run by a dyke and one of the girls there is a lesbian. I'm not but the Thai girls are so sexy and there is so much sex going on around me, I get horny and sometimes indulge. A couple of times, I've brought a girl back to my hotel room. We take a shower, I get a massage, they go down on me and then I flip them over and rub my clit against their pussy until I come. Sometimes they turn me over and do the same back and come while rubbing against me.

I like it when I think they are enjoying themselves too. It feels kind of naughty too, sort of like a secret between girls, who know how to please each other for real. They're getting money, sure, but they are also having a good time and not fucking some old fat guy. I'm a young American girl.

I went to patong beach in sept 07 and I can tell you if you can and want to whoremonger with cheap ass bear and hot little thia women then this is the place for you.

I was there for 2 and a half weeks and I can tell you honestly I want to go back every six months. You can find the hottest friendliest women at bangla road for 1000 bht wich comes out to be about about 20 usd I went to a massage parlor called christians massage which is located on the second floor and found a large fishbool with about 100 women that were all hot. They have numbers and are seperated by price 1200bht 1500 bht 1800bht.since it was my first night and suffering from jetlag I went for the 1200bht price. Let me tell you all the women were the same 8-10 out of 10 being highst.

I paid the fee and she took me up an elevator and to a nice room with a bathtub and shower and a king size bed. Very clean. She took me into the shower and laid me on an enflatable mat and proceeded to give me a great shower and she used her puss as a scrub brush. She cleaned every part of my body. She then took me into the bath tub and proceeded to do the same. After she put me on the bed and fucked mi brains out I could not believe how friendly and well manered she was. I left very happy and clean. I proceeded to bangla rd and nearly lost my mind I drank singha beer for 50bht and as the night went on I could not believe it. It was a 100 to 1 ratio with the odds on our side. Don't pay more than a 1000bht for the night for the bar girls and dont pay mor than 300bht for the bar fine if you have to pay one.

Fellow whore mongers I have been to whores in los angeles,tj mexico,and las vegas. Nothing compares to patong thailand. Lots of things to do and the people are very friendly. I learned a few things while in thailand if you tip 20bhts which comes out to 1 usd you will be well taken care of by all I lived like a king for aprox 50 usd. A day its a must for us I deffinately will be going back. The only thing that sucked was its hot and muggy. So take allot of cargo shorts sandles and t shirts. I recomend it.

The next statement is intended to be of interest to those who may be of advanced years and/or afflicted with limiting disabilities - GO, try it, extend yourself. Being aged 69 and a victim of the merciless Dr Parkinson for 29 years I hesitated, vaccilated and finally took the plunge at the instigation of three separate friends: a fellow monger 10 years younger; an expatriate who has resided 8 years on Phuket; and a non-whorist colleague living in Bangkok. The nine hour flight from Australia caused me the most apprehension and visions of Parkinson-induced falls and paralyis in a distant and non-cognisent land, but my fears were groundless - both flights were a doddle and the natives caring.

Now a word to the flamers: restrain yourselves regarding the following. I have cogent reasons for my beliefs and practices and you have yours. Here we go: I hate condoms and will not use them if at all avoidable. Why not? Simply that there are utterly no pleasurable sensations when Dick is separated from warm pussy by such vile devices. If I can't immediately enjoy such delightful impulses then he can't be sustained and just collapses, and with Vitamin-V @ $6+ a shot, what a waste, so there is no point in alternative action.

Further while I believe that HIV etc certainly exists I strongly doubt its alleged widespread and dense existence. Like all such phenomena it supports a whole 'industry' with a deep interest in self sustenance by providing channels for Ph.D's, research grants, and jobs in a wide range of UN-associated and related organisations. For example my own curse of Parkinsons. Despite the existence of a 10 storey Parkinsons Institute in New York apparently filled with white coats, Ph.D's, and microscopes, I am still using the same medication [although more of it] that I was prescribed 30 years ago! What the hell have they been doing? They have a vested interest in keeping it going.

If a cure is found then goodbye jobs, grants and status. So in the schedule below (C) indicates a Condom was reluctantly used. Most ladies needed little persuasion to desist, maybe because it was the off-season during a year of dramatic downturn in visitor numbers - in the bars there must have been 30+ seekers after each eligible male and passers-by were physically dragged in. After the first experience where I left the question too late, I usually ensured compliance up-front. My initial claims of "success" are valid; too bad if you don't believe. I amazed myself and have no reason to brag.

They followed a long period of enforced celibacy and I make the claims to encourage others similarly afflicted. Naturally as the urges were satiated the frequency reduced, but it's remarkable what a partly-disabled near septugenarian is capable of with the right partner, even when all the ladies referred to me as 'Papa' which became quite endearing. I won't spin the 'whore with the heart of gold' fable but most seemed genuine in their high spirits and pleasant banter.

I suggest you avoid 'name' and/or three-star and above accommodations in Patong: they have adopted a practice of charging an up to Bht 600 (A$21) surcharge for room visitors, even 'innocent' friends. A discount to Bht. 350 was negotiated but then I moved into a nice 'no hassle' Bht 400/nite centrally-located room at the Touch (sic) Villa when my prepaid six days at Patong Lodge expired. The standard barfine is a reasonable 200 Bht [Go-go joints an unreasonable 500]. The ladies expect 500 Bht for 'short time' and 1000 'all night'. After the 2am closing hour they all drift off through the streets to eating and meeting places and their dormitories on the town fringe.

Most remain anxious for business and will negotiate. This is the witching hour for katoeys and they will pursue one persistently. Two trailed me back to my hotel and wept when I told them to 'piss off'. The katoey action next to Soi Eric is worth a view - several of them up to two metres tall stand on the sidewalk and bug passers-by.

If you reside in downtown Patong all 'action' areas are within easy walking distance. Because my first 6 days were prepaid at a 3km out-of-town resort I had to rent a motorcycle. Having ridden m/cycles for 53 years [and still have a Yamaha 750] I felt confident even in the anarchic traffic but a word of caution to those without experience. It can be a dangerous business. While there a story in the local media of a Frenchwoman returned to bury her twin son after his m/cycle death - two years before she buried his brother also in Phuket after a similar disaster. And see note after Meo below. 150 people dead in one year in Phuket alone from this cause! The entry road into Patong over the mountain is one of the most hazardous 5 km I've ever seen: many reverse curves, four undivided lanes shared with buses and huge trucks, steep and sinuous - the condition of the guard rail tells its own story.

Avoid the tuk-tuks in Patong They're a weird mob: they've formed a kind of mafia wherein they quote preposterous rates (e.g. Bht.200 for 1 km) and won't budge and have squeezed out the solo m/cycle taxis found elsewhere. If you argue with the raised rates on arrival they call their mates and intimidate you. The mayor of Patong and governor of Phuket have tried unsuccessfully to break them. They seem to prefer to sit in their vehicles and chatter rather than to do reasonable business. It's difficult with this format to arrange neat columns so I will explain the layout: Firstly the lady's name and where she was found; her age [usually understated and sometimes checked against her I/d.

It's quite amazing how young Asian women can appear to be]; a subjective rating 1 - 10 of appearance followed by (P) if a photo is available; a rating of her sexual prowess based on eagerness, (It seems to be the Thai custom for the woman to adopt the superior [on-top] position. It doesn't suit me and they seemed a bit puzzled when I demonstrated that I prefer to do the work) co-operation, and mutual satisfaction; xK = number of children claimed. Finally payment in Baht. ! Then notes in narrative form.

NIT: Soi Eric; 32; 7P; 7C; 2K; B1000. A good natured girl restrained at first then quite aggressive and took initiative and insisted on taking 'on-top' position and had to ask her more than once to slow down. She wasn't trying to hurry me, just enthusiastic. Despite condom I maintained my erections for two orgasms no doubt resulting from long celibacy and pent-up excitement.

MEO: Soi Eric; 31; 4P; 7; 2K; B1000/day. A classic 'eastern' face as seen in many temples. Pleasant caring nature with a willing co-operative action. Took her on a day trip around island and two days more. Nervous of motorcycles - her husband was killed on one!

PIM: Soi Gonzo; 21 [believed really 25]; 8P; 9 [10 if she'd provided BJ]; 1K [hard to believe a pregnancy occurred in such a tiny body but she accepted my 7.5in without discomfort, where did it fit?]; B.1000. Best of the bunch: delightful 'tiny tigress', only 4ft 9in. tall. Loving, elfin, clinging child-like sweetheart. Unlike all others infected with the 'modesty' bit (wrapped in towel even in bed) she immediately stripped, then stripped me and launched her little self onto me like a missile and clung like a limpet. Addicted to clit/breast stimulation she enjoyed multiple orgasms but didn't neglect my pleasure. A little acquisitive, demanding bracelets, rings and a mobile phone [not given]. Later quite jealous and hammered on my door on three occasions when I was occupied with Lix [below]. In retrospect wish that I had spent more time with her than I did.

NEO: Street; 30; 5; 6; 1K; B700; pleasant manner but average activity. Wanted her to remain overnight but she departed at 11pm. Still horny so sought another and unfortunately found:

AO: Street; 30; 7; 0; claimed no kids; [see on]. A real 'painted lady' tattooed and festooned with rings and bracelets. Agreed to B.1000 for remainder of night. A phoney, immediately simulating gasps and orgasm sounds; in a tearing hurry, claimed I had come when I hadn't and rushed for the bathroom. A big argument ensued. Obsessed with payment and was so negative that I paid her B.1000 to be rid of her at 3.30am. On leaving she became quite aggressive when I punctured her professional pride by telling her that she was "No. 10" (in local jargon, the 'pits'). The only dud merely proving that yer can't win 'em all!

NING: Bar; 29; 6P; 3(BBBJ only); 1K; B.600. A daytime 'pick-up' at the bar at entrance to Soi Katoey. Attracted by her studious spectacled appearance and manner. Had long walk and expensive meal in expectation of all night affair before going to my room. Surprised me by proceeding to excellent and unsolicited BBBJ but left suddenly at 7pm

ON: Bar next to my hotel; 21; 6; 0C; 0K; B.300; On rebound from Ning. Nice young body but insistence on condom and 'she on-top' resulted in no sensation at all so I quit half-way and despatched her. Next day she threatened me with a replica pistol for the balance but I didn't pay it.

LEE: Street; 30; 4; 6; 1K; B.500. Chubby, pleasant 'domestic' nature. Her body a mass of scars, marks and skin grafts following severe m/cycle accident. A nice unexpected BBBJ followed by workmanlike sex but no orgasm for me. Left abruptly at 3am which motivated me to return to street and find:

LIX; 25P (believed over 30); 7; 9; 1K; B.1000/day; attracted me because she was wearing a dress rather than pants or jeans. Another 4ft. 10in. mini-typhoon like Pim. Had best English language so far, sometimes quite a chatterbox. Said she would only deal with 'falangs' because Thai men treated her so badly. Very sexy, co-operative and caring and also loved breast/clitoral stimulation as well as offering fantastic doggies and was willing to spend all day in bed. Enjoyed her company sufficient to spend five days with her. She cried when I departed. Had her own business cards printed with e-mail address and mobile phone no. Accompanied her to her dormitory, typical of how these women live. Just a floor without beds shared with 4 others, a few dresses on hangers or in bags, no TV but a radio-CD player, a statue of Buddha and a picture of their beloved king and that's their life so don't be mean spirited with them. Almost all come 1000km from the far north of the country.

~~At night this place is happening! All the lights come on and it's a different world. Girls everywhere. Watch out for the transvestites soi in the middle of the street. Fun to watch. I scored my first night at the Rock Hard Go-Go Bar on the far end of street near the open air Thai boxing center. Nothing like watching a little Thai boxing, then cruising in to a go-go bar and picking up an 8 hottie and taking her back. About 2000 Baht total (500 Bar fine and 1500 for the girl back at the room). ~~

~~My second night I went to the Banana Disco (was going to go to the Shark Disco, but heard it was closed down). Anyway, the Banana was where it was all happening. Tons of girls in there looking at you. They all want you to go over and talk to them and buy them a drink. Find one you like and just do it (no bar fine). Found a cutie (maybe a 7), and we danced for 2 hours. The place closed for the night, then we left. ~~

~~She took me outside to her scooter and asked about prices (settled on 1200 Baht), and she told me to get on her scooter and I pointed the way to the hotel. Life doesn't get any better riding on the back of a moped in the warm night air, knowing you're taking a hot girl back to your room for all night sex. My last night I picked up a girl from a beer bar (no bar fine- the place was closing)- she was cute, nice thin body, small tits, and we taxied it back to my place where she showered and then we proceeded to have sex about 5 times. ~~

~~~~Going rate is around 1000baht (US$25) / allnight, but business is really bad at the moment with virtually no tourists in Karon and Kata. If you're reasonable good looking and nice/fun to be with, you may be able to get it down to 600baht. Bottle of whiskey with unlimited mixers are still 1000baht at most bars.~~~~

~~The prettiest girls will be in Patong, you may try the large discos. If you offer a reasonable sum, 3000baht or more, you can even bring home the nightclub singers and dancers. Tiger Club is a good place, where every girl is for sale, even if she looks like a nice girl just out for drinks.~~Don't get suckered into falling in love with them. The prettiest girls will have 2-4 boyfriends around the world sending them money every month. They all have their stories. Mum is sick, family owes bank money, their house will be taken away, brother need school, you name it. ~~

~~ They'll tell you that if you can just send them a little money, maybe 20k baht/month (which is not a lot, only around US$500), they'll have enough to stop doing this work and can stay at home waiting for you instead. Which is always bullshit, they'll tell the same story to every man.~~If you really like a girl, either bring her back to your country, or settle down in Thailand with her. Only a fool will have a girlfriend in Phuket and believe she is faithful.~~

~~For that you get a nice soak in the tub, a good massage afterwards, and a thorough fuck. She sat on top of med for a good 10-15 minutes before I came. The rooms are clean and well kept which adds to the feeling.~~