any tips on what to watch out for in bangkok?

[ilanrohm88]

going to bangkok and want to know if there are some things i should not do or things i should. and if there are some places that i defintly should not go to? thanks

[Crackpott]

You should NOT go into bars . They have some very sinfull girls there

[pipe_layer]

You should not go to massage parlours either. You will be touched and fondled there.

[Rex7777]

On a more serious note, if I were you I'd watch out for Katoey pickpockets. Don't carry around a lot of money. Leave your wallet in the hotel safe. Keep a copy of your passport. That way, the most you can loose is whatevere you have on you.

[foggiepete]

Do not pay barfine for lady.

She will accompany you to your hotel and expect you to shower then fuck her
LOL.

[Bonman]

do not drink the water, eat the food, fuck their women, learn to speak Thai, breathe their air or use up their sunshine.


seriously,

lay back enjoy. remove shoes when Thais do, don't point your feet at people except your friends, don't rub the top of their heads or laugh at Buddah. Don't say anything against their king--takskinny orr something like that..
don't pick a fight with a thai. don't misstake a ladyboy for a girl, don't go to the big temple in shorts and thongs, don't get into a taxi that won't turn the meter on.
oh im running out of donts

[joecoolfrog]

Dont act like you are in Miami,baseball caps worn backwards simply make you look like a clown.Before you hit the go-go bars try to get talking to some experienced mongers or even better ex pats who generally are happy to share thier wisdom,Biergarden on Soi 7 is a good place for an afternoon chat.Dont stay anywhere without a swimming pool,Bangkok is a hot and tiring place,you will appreciate being able to chill in the afternoons,

[The Agency]

Depends on how fucking stupid you are.....

1. Dont carry anymore money than you wish to spend in a night etc.
2. No passport. Just photo copy.
3 .No credit cards or you plane tickets.
4. Carry 4 condoms at all times.
5. The chances are if a lady boy get close to you they are trying to steal from you.(learn the "Sukhumvit shuffle")
6. Dont try to be the Hero.... you are fuck all in Thailand (even if you are a ex "bubble blower" )
7. The girls will tell you , you are hansome even when they want to be sick. they will fuck you even wheh they want to be sick. They hate you and only love bits of paper you will give them.
8.Dont say shit about the King.
9. Try not to be too American.

[Mr Shagmeister]

Hi number 88, my advice is make sure you pack the following. A cell phone featuring video clips of your mother and a 5 year old child. A pin up of Carmen Elektra. One pair of pink washing-up gloves. One pair of ski goggles. A medium sized torch. A pack of very small condoms. Pepper spray.

Your first night in BKK you venture into the go-go bars of Nana Plaza. Your senses are bewildered. If you feel yourself starting to believe any of the bar girl's flattery just look at the video clip of your mum on your phone. Geographically she will still be the closest human being who cares if you are still alive in the morning. If during any bar girl interaction you find yourself wondering about the logic of any of the girl's actions, then look at the clip of your 5 year old child. Realize that next to any bar girl your child is an off the scale genius.

If a large looking bar girl with a deep voice and a 6 o'clock shadow gets in your way then feel free to use the pepper spray.

When you've bar fined some young temptress and got her back to your room then you will require the other items. When the girl comes out of your shower first use the beam of light from the torch to see if their are any barnacles or any other type of crustacean hidden in or around her pussy. Next you engage in a strange form of foreplay. Aggressively pat her head while at the same time using one of your feet to 'toe fuck' her. You have of course already put one of your small condoms on the inserted toe so that you don't end up with 'trench foot'. This might sound odd but to a Thai this kind of cultural humiliation is a real turn on.

Now you should both be juiced up and ready to rumble. Don the washing-up gloves and goggles. From painful personal experience I can testify to the fact that STD's are not only hazardous to your dick. Finally. unscrew the top off your cock sized torch and empty out the batteries, insert your prick into the hollow plastic chamber of the torch. Now you can push the barrel of the torch, with your cock inside, into the girls horny hole. This level of hardened protection might seem extreme but believe me some bar girl pussy juice is toxic! If the plastic starts to melt then my advice would be to pull out. If everything appears OK then start fucking. Keep that photo of Ms Elektra handy because even if the girl you've chosen isn't a skinny runt she will still fuck like a dead fish. At least looking at the picture will help you to come.

P.S. Don't forget to reassemble the torch after sex so it can be reused. Just make sure you wash it out.

[joecoolfrog]

Hi number 88, my advice is make sure you pack the following. A cell phone featuring video clips of your mother and a 5 year old child. A pin up of Carmen Elektra. One pair of pink washing-up gloves. One pair of ski goggles. A medium sized torch. A pack of very small condoms. Pepper spray.

Your first night in BKK you venture into the go-go bars of Nana Plaza. Your senses are bewildered. If you feel yourself starting to believe any of the bar girl's flattery just look at the video clip of your mum on your phone. Geographically she will still be the closest human being who cares if you are still alive in the morning. If during any bar girl interaction you find yourself wondering about the logic of any of the girl's actions, then look at the clip of your 5 year old child. Realize that next to any bar girl your child is an off the scale genius.

If a large looking bar girl with a deep voice and a 6 o'clock shadow gets in your way then feel free to use the pepper spray.

When you've bar fined some young temptress and got her back to your room then you will require the other items. When the girl comes out of your shower first use the beam of light from the torch to see if their are any barnacles or any other type of crustacean hidden in or around her pussy. Next you engage in a strange form of foreplay. Aggressively pat her head while at the same time using one of your feet to 'toe fuck' her. You have of course already put one of your small condoms on the inserted toe so that you don't end up with 'trench foot'. This might sound odd but to a Thai this kind of cultural humiliation is a real turn on.

Now you should both be juiced up and ready to rumble. Don the washing-up gloves and goggles. From painful personal experience I can testify to the fact that STD's are not only hazardous to your dick. Finally. unscrew the top off your cock sized torch and empty out the batteries, insert your prick into the hollow plastic chamber of the torch. Now you can push the barrel of the torch, with your cock inside, into the girls horny hole. This level of hardened protection might seem extreme but believe me some bar girl pussy juice is toxic! If the plastic starts to melt then my advice would be to pull out. If everything appears OK then start fucking. Keep that photo of Ms Elektra handy because even if the girl you've chosen isn't a skinny runt she will still fuck like a dead fish. At least looking at the picture will help you to come.

P.S. Don't forget to reassemble the torch after sex so it can be reused. Just make sure you wash it out.

I learnt those tricks growing up in Romford!

[The Agency]

Poor bloke dont stand a chance !!

[Mr Shagmeister]

I learnt those tricks growing up in Romford!

Is Romford dogtrack still open Hopalong? I've had the misfortune to visit a lot of the dog tracks in England but I never got to that one.

[joecoolfrog]

Sure is!
Live the other side of the Thames these days but sometimes pop over to lose my shirt.

[lowend]

P.S. Don't forget to reassemble the torch after sex so it can be reused. Just make sure you wash it out.

Wish I followed Shags advice earlier, had a great night last night but forgot to reassemble the torch

Also don't fall for any stories and don't accept any excuses:
If she is tired when you get back to the room then you are tired to open your wallet.
If she wants to leave early tell her your money is under a time lock at the front office and she won't see any of it until the agreed time.
Do the interview in the bar to avoid surprises. Usual, barfine, tip, time to leave, 3 holer, mens, smoke no condom, how many shots, got baby, got boyfriend etc etc take your time if she pisses off after 5 minutes of a lady drink for any reason other than to dance it's not worth your time.
Don't be shy to ask if she is a katoey especially if the mamasan is one and so are the door girls and she looks a little on the masculine side.
In the door mobile off.

Go out there and have fun, you are paying for this so you might as well get some enjoyment, don't be too timid, this works well in PI but not in Thailand.

[Mr Shagmeister]

Just caught up with this thread..... Smythe you should be on the stage me old mate. Methinks you've spent too long in LOS and have really lost the plot mate, its the ONLY explanation !!

You couldn't be more right pal. I have been here waaaaaaaaaaaay too long! I do try to offer a different opinion but hopefully there's always at least something truthful or interesting in my post. I don't think it's really worth promoting the advantages of mongering in Thailand, that sells itself, but if I can ever stop anybody making any of the mistakes I've made then I feel happier.

When I first got washed up on the shore here I thought.......

All the girls are beautiful......Now I think most of them are ugly

All the girls are friendly........They are until you stop spending

All the girls are honest.......They can't tell you their name without lying

All the girls are clean...........There isn't a clinic here that's unknown to me

All the farangs stick together.....The girls will take the shirt off your back

.....some farangs will take your skin

Asian men typically have more experience of prostitutes than their non-mongering farang counterparts. Asian men treat hookers with varying degrees of respect but they would NEVER consider a prostitute as a candidate for being a girlfriend, unless the man comes from the lowest social class. Indeed the idea of any type of relationship with a bar girl is laughable to most asians. I used to think that we farangs had got it right and that asian men were being too uncaring. I was wrong, Asian men have got it absolutely spot on. I have always been too soft with bar girls and I continue to be too soft with my wife and mia noi. I'm just lucky that in Thailand a wife can tolerate a mia noi, but as always, that comes at a price.