Pakistan is a nation of conservative society and a lot of restriction on any open ness in terms of skin-exhibition and other form of freedom specially sex.
Plz provide more informations ................!
Last edited by desihunter; 09-01-2005 at 06:46 PM.
I see slowly the citiy areas is opening up, ladies are wearing short sleeves or even sleeve less shirts trousers and jeans are worn ordinarily and pants are getting shorter where you can see ankles and its slowly going up...these things were was not possible just a few years ago and girls who wore them were looked down and thought to be bad character,
Life is short;"Eat, Drink & Be Merry, As If There Is No Tomorrow".......H.DEVIL
And now aren't they stilled looked down upon?Originally Posted by horny_devil
Not really.. theser are TWO seprarte SECTIONS of PEOPLE here.. the TALIBINIST (or sympathizers) such as the Lal Masjid GANGS.. then there are the HUMANS..
the Humans do accept the women as they dress. Jeans.. T-SHIRTS etc. are acceptable.
I live right near one of the TALABANIST CENTER (Jamia Fariadia) and every night there are BOTH kinds present on the same road.. the UNKEMPT BEARDS as well as girls / women in shorts and jogging suits..
So.. you really can not judge as to who is looked down upon..
Right now.. the TALIBANISTS are getting a really bad wrap due to their RADICAL BULL CRAP and people .. in general are moving away from them .. as far as they can because they are making a fool of themselves right here in the CAPITAL CITY.
Regards,
PPL
Very well said. Those outside creating noise are also scaring good people away.
Jeans were meant to hug hips 'n arse wo what is worong with flaunting it? What remains to be seen is how would these younger girls get what they want - cock tease and ride. Another taboo is alcohol. The combination of the two is mind-blowing. But the greater the prohibition, the greater the thrill ion achieving them together. high stakes, high thrills, high returns. One can also be castrated - isn't it?
Let us know your views.
Billi Boli: Meeeooow
continuing wih the same topic...
well there should always be a freedom of doing wht one wants, if u want a censorship, it should be withing urself, coz may be one thing which is bad in ur opinion may be a need for other person.
I see paksitan improving day by day and these fundamentalists weaking as well. This is not because of Mr.Musharaf or anything else, this is only due to the global changes esp that of the information revolution.
In paksitan now I see lots of leftists ( as I saw lots of them here in WSG as well ) but I suppose most of them are hidden. I want them to come forward and play an active role in the society esp. on media.
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
actually the best way to deal with the moron mullahs is to start treating women like humans and not worse than animals...
once the supression stops.. the women are given a few more choices.. the society will open up...
seems like the only way the Mullahs would ever "get any" is if they keep forcing women into submission.. otherwise what women in their right mind would ever marry them...
so to get the LEFTIST out on the streets and counter the Moron Mullah we need to support the womens movement in Pakistan ..
PPL
Fully agreed. HRCP is very active these days and I pay tribute to the great Asma Jehangir for her efforts.
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
yes.. we need as many organizations like that as possible.. but more than these orgs. we need every single person to start working on it.. if somone would like a couple of articles i wrote regarding the "curse of arranged marriages".. send me a PM..
Regards,
PPL
It will be excellent if you provide a link here so that everyone should be benifited.
Thanks,
Sharp
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
Introduction
Forced marriage: a marriage partner selection process in which the future bride and groom usually do not participate actively in the decision.
Marriages are commonly arranged by parents or their agents when the marriages are seen as principally uniting two families rather than just husband and wife. There is also often the rationalization that teenagers and young adults are too inexperienced to make a wise mate selection. The tradition of arranged marriages has been dramatically undermined whenever romantic love becomes a popular notion in a society.
The most primal needs of any being on this earth, may it be Human or an animal are the hunt for food then comes the need for shelter and once these two basic needs have been met, both human and animals look for a mate to propagate their species.
Humans, being intelligent and with the ability to rationalize the need to reproduce carries an even greater significance.
Through out human history, the female has been given the responsibility of choosing the best mate for herself in what scientists call natural selection.
Once this system of Natural Selection is eliminated or restricted in any society, that society will stagnate and eliminate the chance of the society to progress in any direction.
An arranged marriage can be wrapped in any shape or form but one fact is for sure, it is a Forced arrangement, which affects the deep down fabric of society.
The Animal Kingdom
Opposition to this section
I am fully aware that the biggest objection supporters of Forced Marriage would mention at this point would be that “HUMANS ARE NOT ANIMALS” and they will shun the rest of the article. This would only be due to the myopic views and the brainwashing of society as well a strong ego where there is a need to consider oneself superior to everything else and any similarities are to be strongly opposed.
Actually, the societies which support forced marriages have fallen below the level and ranks of Animals in this respect.
Examples from the Animal Kingdom
A good example of this would be from the animal kingdom where the Male works to gain he attention of the female and the best male available to the female has the best chance to reproduce with that female.
The male which is either weak or sick, hence the male who has some physical or genetic problem does not get a chance to mate and is eliminated from the gene pool.
Nature has instilled a very intricate and a well balanced system to provide for natural selection. Both male and female excrete a number of chemicals, most of them tuned to attract the opposite sex.
These chemicals produced are as unique to each individual as finger prints; these chemicals affect each and every living thing on the planet in a different way.
We have all experienced an immediate like or dislike of another individual on the first meeting. The released chemicals along with the visual stimulation (this can be positive or negative) are responsible for this immediate like or dislike.
In horse breeding the choice of a Stud and a Mare are given priority and only the genetically superior Studs are mated with the genetically superior mares to produce winning off springs. Breeding of horses has been developed into a Science where a retiring champion is a prized commodity and only after a number of tests are performed on both the male and female they are put to pasture together to produce an off spring.
Scientific process of selecting a mate
The humans, excrete pheromones which other humans in close proximity inhale or smell and in turn produce similar pheromones.
To be compatible with other person it is necessary for these pheromones to be compatible for any kind of interaction to succeed.
Every one of has experienced a immediate dislike of a stranger as soon as that person enters the room. This is directly the result of the incompatibility of exactly these pheromones.
In arranged marriages none of this compatibility is taken into consideration due to the “Cultural” requirements and incompatible people are forced to marry and produce off spring as well.
More than just pheromones
In Humans, unlike the animal kingdom, there are other compatibility issues which need to be considered before a couple are forced to spend the rest of their lives together.
These include mental and intellectual compatibility
The outlook towards life
The outlook of how to raise children
Arguments for Forced Marriages
Our “Culture” dictates it!”
The biggest “cope out” people have for not wanting to correct a wrong or do something wrong and not make an effort to make a change in it is to blame it on something else.
In this closed culture the main escape goat is “the culture”. The culture is blamed for nearly all the shortcoming of a person as well as is a ready excuse for not putting in the best effort.i
Culture is a system which set of rules and regulations people develop to help them live a more productive and happy lives. what this closed society has done, is to make “Culture” the biggest road block in any kind of human development, either it be personal or as a society as a whole.
I very commonly hear that nothing can be done because we are slaves of the environment and they will stop there and not do anything about it.
“We have to Pretend!”
In my discussion with people who support FORCED Marriages do know that they are harming their children. They are putting them in peril by forcing them into situations which would be harmful to them. These same people are very scared of doing the right thing and will totally ignore the health and wellbeing of their own children just to follow the “culture monster”. One of these people put it “We have to at least Pretend that we are following the culture and traditions”ii
It is only in closed societies where a father will SACRIFICE their children, just so that they can follow a “Culture” which does not benefit anyone but for some reason people will continue to follow it..
“Our elders know better”
This binding culture has brainwashed the children that anything and everything the parents do is correct and their word is final.
Is that the truth or a fallacy?. These are the exact same parents who have not even cared to teach the children that the right from wrong.iii These are the same parents who have supported “mosques” built on encroached land. These are the same parents who are giving and taking bribes all over the world. These are the same “Elders” who have turned the name Pakistan synonymous with Terrorism and all thing illegal around the world.
The fact is that these parents need to come off their huge; “we know everything in this world” Ego tripsiv and really start doing the right thing. Accept the fact that they have followed the wrong methods. The culture they are holding right to their chest is actually a Cobra and needs to be shunned as soon as possible as far as possible.
These are the same parents who have been utilizing every illegal means known to man to do every single immoral and criminal activity known to man. These are the same parents which who are directly or indirectly, due to their lack of vision or total inaction, have kept this nation at the bottom rung in the world stage.
It is time for these parents to accept that they have followed the wrong system and work as hard as they can to change this non working system.
These parents have become so lazy, they go ahead and marry their children off to their nieces and nephews so that they do not have to do any work in researching out proposals of “outsiders”
Actually the situation is so grave at this point that what ever the Elders are saying should be questioned.v
Love “after” you get married
One of the biggest arguments or reasoning given for Forced Marriages is that it is not a whole lot different then a marriage by natural selection.
The only difference mentioned is that the couple falls in love AFTER you have taken the vows.
Most proponents are quick to give examples of certain exceptions where statistical coincidences have occurred and the couple was compatible to begin with. These people do not look at the bigger picture and are happy to point out these rare cases and willingly jump into a forced marriage.
This is kind of behavior is more akin to playing “Russian roulette” in the most important decision in a couples life. The person gets married and then finds out if the person they are to spend the rest of their life is compatible with them or not.
These same people will spend hours if not months to decide which car they would buy but they will readily get married to someone without every having contact with this person before they make the decision.
These days, some more progressive parents have starting allowing a bit of contact which might include a few telephone conversations but not much more.
Union of Two Families
One of the biggest reasons which is given in favor of arranged marriages is that it is a Union of two families. One of the misconceptions is that in case someone has a love marriage the two families can not unite. This can ONLY happen if the Parents force their children to marry.
This reasoning holds true for any kind of marriage, especially love where the union is forged in love, understanding and friendship rather than a few minutes discussion between the parents or their agents.
In any good marriage, both families are brought together and a marriage is always a union of two families.
The people who use this argument fail to see that by highlighting this point they are showing their shallowness and myopic view that only a union of two families can occur if an arranged marriage is performed.
Without the permission of parents
The closed societies where Forced marriages are practiced, mindset has been developed that “Natural Selection” would be synonymous to eloping, marrying against the will of the parents, Insulting the elders or not respecting the parentsvi
That should not be the case.
The society has evolved with such huge egoistic ideas that each and every person considers himself / herself extremely superior to anyone youngervii.
The society works at reducing the self-esteem of the young to the extent that they are forced to shut the creative part of their minds and just accept the role of followers.
Instead of nurturing the young mind with encouragement, support and proper roll modeling which would get them ready for the life ahead, instead of instructing the young to learn how to make good decisions. The young are told just to follow like zombies and not to question anything an adult says or do.
The result is that the ego of the Adults will eliminate the young mind from being able to see what is right for them. They are brainwashed from a very young age not to think, not to be innovative, and not to question anythingviii.ix
“Sign of Armageddon”
The Mullah community in Pakistan has not only ignored the true preaching of the Islam they have gone as far as they can in preaching their sexist, male dominant ideas and have labeled it a “sign of Armageddon” end of time if a girl is given the freedom to choose or propose to her spouse.
Low Divorce rate
This is the most prevalent argument given for getting into an arranged marriage.
The low divorce rate in a closed culture is NOT due to the ability of the couple to get a divorce but is more closely related to
> The lack of the ability to make your own choice
> The prevalent Stockholm syndromei
> The stigma of getting a divorce.
> The negative image Divorce has in these culturesx
> The inability of the parents to re-provide a large dowry
> The ever present financial burden on both the groom and the bride
In a majority of these marriages, it would be better to get a divorce than to live in an unhappy relationship where one or both partners have nothing in common with each other.
The Catch 22
In the society prevalent in most of the Islamic countries these days the people have perfected the Catch 22 to the Divorce rate. The Religion does permit Divorce but there is such a big stigmaxi attached to getting a divorce that no one can think of getting a divorce.
The reason for a low divorce rate not due to the fact that the people are not allowed to get / give a divorce but if someone gets a divorce he / she is considered a lower class of citizen and is shunned by society.
If nothing else it is considered that there must be something very wrong with that person (especially if it is the female) and it is very difficult for that person to get married again.
The Black list
Very often the stigma of a Divorcee at home will “black list “the whole family and the chances of the younger siblings getting married will be hampered if not completely eliminated. So the elder sister will sacrifice her happiness to make sure that her younger sisters do get married and will endure extreme abuse and unhappiness and put on a happy face in public while going through her private hell.
Economic Factors
Dowry: Marrying off a girl in most of these societies is a very expensive proposition. The Mother will start collecting the girls dowry for a very young age and will make sure that the future in laws are happy, more than that the matter of Ego comes in here to a very big extent, a big dowry will increase the families standing in the eyes of the relatives so, from birth the struggle to collect a dowry is on the top of a mother’s mind. Jewelry, household items, clothing everything is collected and the whole family lives in deprivation because the needed items of daily use are set aside and not used.
Mehr: On the flip side, the Groom is forced to agree to a huge amount of “Mehr” or money to be paid to the bride after the marriage and becomes mandatory if the groom decides to divorce the bride. This amount large, usually, to the tune of five to ten years of the groom’s income. If the divorce does happen any court in the country will summarily accept Mehr as a Pre Nuptial and will order the groom to pay that off and in case the money is not available it will have to be borrowed or personally property sold to fulfill this obligation.
The family members on both sides will have lengthy and sometimes heated arguments over this issue. The bride’s family will make sure that this amount is as large as possible so that the groom feels hostage to the amount and is forced to treat the bride right, in other worlds the groom is forced to accept a financial burden.
Wedding celebrations: Except for the Dowry and Mehr, the wedding is a lengthy and expensive proposition. The bride’s family is forced to endure most of the expense and in most cases the bride’s family does borrow a lot of money to full fill the ever present Ego of the in laws as well as to show off to the society. In case a divorce does happen, the family will have to endure this burden again.
Second marriage
The Ego issues with the men in the culture which require that the woman be a Virginxii on the wedding night. The egoistic need of the man to be the only one in the brides life reduces the choices a divorced woman has to remarry.
Usually, if the second marriage does happen, it happens in one of the following ways
1. Love Marriage
Now that the woman is no longer a Virgin and has been stuck with the sigma of a Divorcee, the woman shrugs the restrains of society, the blackmail of the relatives and becomes a bit more open and finds someone who has broken the shackles of Ego and the shackles of a closed society. These marriages are usually successfulxiii
2. Marriage of convenience
The divorcées and/or widowxiv scum to the taunts and looks of the relatives and acquaintances and accept the first proposal which comes along, usually this proposal is from a widower who is in need of a maidxv, a Nanny for his children and sexual releasexvi.
These proposals are rarely refused and the woman goes along with this marriage to eliminate the ever present taunts and sideways glances and behind that back talk xviiof all the relatives especially the parents.
These marriages also fall directly into the Forced marriage category.
Lack of Trust
The standard bearers of forced marriages will point to the unpredictability and untrustworthiness of the young in case they are even allowed to talk to the person of the opposite sex.
They will not even consider that the lack of trust in their children does not come from the acts of the children, but rather their own inability and inadequacy to teach their children write from wrong, from their inability to teach the children how to make good decisions.
The lack of trust comes from the fact that they have been unable to restrain themselves in any way all their lives themselvesxviii and in the same way they do not give their children any responsibility and in exactly the way they were treated by their parents. which most of these people do not like but accept as the Only way to do things
Reasons for divorce when forced marriages happen
Lack of a dowry
In a number of cases, the bride’s family has promised more dowry than they can deliver and the groom’s family decides that they have been financially cheated and their ego has been bruised. This is a big enough crime that the marriage is called off and the wedding contract is considered null and void, this is a very good reason for not paying the Mehr as well.
No bleeding on the wedding night
More than anything else the girl is required to have an intact hymn on her wedding nightxix, in the South Asian society the brides wedding dress is red for this exact reasonxx, she is supposed to bleed and the blood can be absorbed very well on her red dressxxi.
In case this hymn is not present, this would be a completely acceptable reason for the groom to claim that the woman is not a virgin and a perfect reason to divorce the woman.
It does not matter that this hymn can be broken all throughout childhood due to a number of reasons which could be as subtle as ridding the bike, horse back ridding or even an accident.
One of the major issues with bleeding is also that the Groom has to have his “Ego stroked” that the woman has to be a virgin to be acceptable to him.
Honor / Ego Killings
It is very common that if a bride is suspected of loosing her hymn before her wedding night the father or brother of the bride will get into an Egoistic rage and kill the bride for her infringement of the honor of the family.
Thousands of cases of such honor killings are prevalent in any closed society which shows the shallow thinking and mistrust of the females in any such society.xxiiii
Suicide by the bride / girl
In a recent conversation with an extremely intelligent and educated college graduate Shahidaxxiii mentioned in an off hand remark that she would have no problem with committing suicide in case she was to loose her virginity before her wedding night.
Even after we discussed this comment with her and talking to her that any kind of suicidal tendencies are a clear indication of major ingrained psychological issues she was happy with her decision and would not even think of changing her mind on the issue.
This kind of behavior and suicidal thoughts are very common in most closed societies where sacrificing oneself on the alter of ego is considered completely normal and acceptable and even condoned.
Totally conditional love
It is surprising to see that the parents and elders have such shallow views towards life and their love towards their children is non existent.
Lets say for the sake of argument that the child does make a mistake, at that point in her / his life he / she is totally lost and has no one to turn to. The biggest threat she / he has in life is from the exact same people she should turn to for support and guidance.
But this child has been taught from birth that in case she / he makes a mistake the last people she / he should approach are the elders. These elders will become angry and are more likely than anyone else to harm / kill the child.
This kind of animal behavior by the parents / elders does not instill faith and confidence in the children.
The results of this mistrust are visible in every aspect of the society.
Methods of forcing a marriage
The main issue which comes into play in forcing a marriage is the lack of the parent’s ability and training in teaching their children right from wrong.
It is an easy way to go about life. This eliminates the need to treat each and every child as an individual and groom each and every child as such.
The rules are applied as a blanked on everyone and the parents accept this as normal.
Each individual child’s uniqueness is squashed and any deviation from the normal is considered rebellion and is treated extremely harshlyxxiv
Ego of the Parents
Most societies where Forced marriages are practices, we notice that the society is driven more by an EGO then by rational thinking. The Ego of the parents comes into play on every single turn of the Child’s life. This ego is so huge that the parents will become blind and will refuse to let the children make any decisions of their own. All their lives the children are put down, degraded and told that they are children and have no clue as to what right from wrong is and they are supposed to follow every word the elders say without question.
This becomes extremely obvious when the matter of marriage is concerned, more often than not, the parents will not even ask the young person of their decision.
In case the future bride or groom, object to this union, they are told that they are disobeying their elders and this is taken as rebellion and emotional black mail starts.
Financial Blackmail
If a girl dares to refuse to marry someone who has shown up for dinner then along with all the other methods the little spending money given to the girl is also cut off.xxv
Emotional Blackmail
This is the most common method to force any marriage is where the parents, especially the mothers use all avenues of Emotional Blackmail on the children to feed their Egos. In most cases, no attention is paid to the girl’s (it is usually the girl) feelings or desires, and any opinion voiced by the girl is sunned as the words of a child who does not know anything about life.xxvi
The Bride and the Groom have been raised to completely suppress their wishes and desires and accept the word of their parents even though that person has to live with the spouse for the next 40 to 50 years.
Economic Facts
The decision and the arguments which are given a bride to be to get married to a certain guy has nothing to do with natural selection but the following reasons are usually used
> He has money and he will make a good provider
> He has a good job and will make a good husband
> He has a home
> He is from a “good” family or the term “biradri” which loosely equates to the same class
The girl might be given a chance to look at her future groom once if the parents are “Progressive” but usually the decision is made on those factors and the life and fate of the girl and in most cases the boy are sealed.
Method of selecting a spouse
Total Forced
This is practiced quite often where the young couple is TOLD that the ALL KNOWING elders have made the arrangement and they will be married to that other person. Not a single word from either the boy or the girl is acceptable.
This usually means that the couple will talk for the first time after they are married without any choice in the matter.
The Inspection
These days the prevalent method of acquiring a baby producer for their son is to go to dinner at the girl’s house.xxvii
The girl is told to dress up properly and be ready to be presented to her future in-laws. The in-laws will inspect the girl critically exactly like they would if they had gone out to purchase a pet for their house hold.
Dinner is served and, it is expected for the girl to show off her culinary skills as a cook to impress the in-lawsxxviii.
After the inspection session is over the girls’ parents will discuss the physical, financial and the families’ viability of the union.
In very rare “modern” families, the girl is given a Yes or No decision in these mattersxxix.
Multiple refusals
If the girl is given an opinion in the say it is not without its dangers in a closed society. Each week a prospective inspection will take place. Each week a heated session of emotional blackmail will occur and these sessions to force the girl to make a choice get more and more heated as time goes on.
It is inevitable that at one point the girl will just give up and say yes to the next inspector who comes along.
If that does not happen the Yes and No decision is taken out of the girls hands and she is given a choice between a few perspective inspectors. The choice is not if she wants to marry that certain person, rather she has to choose one from one of them and the wedding is to follow soon afterwards.
Natural Selection
Anywhere on earth, when we look at any species of animals, we see that the nature has created a system where the Female of the species makes a definite choice between whom she wants to mate.
The strongest Male, the male which shows off the most, the Male which shows the promise in providing the best to the offspring are the most sought after Males.
In some species if a new male takes over the group he even goes as far as illuminating any off springs from previous males who have lost the leadership of the group.
Human race has also relied on exactly the same method as in nature for selecting a mate. The female are the ones who have chosen their mates since the time of the Cavemen and even before to receive the seed and produce offspring
In every successful society in the world we see this same practice has been followed.
The methods of courting might be different but the purpose has remained the same.
Misconceptions
In my conversations with people who live in a society where arranged / forced marriages are acceptable. The arguments range from the ones listed above where facts and figures are observed but not analyzed to the extreme situation such as listed below
Open Sex
The first thing which comes to the mind of a proponent and supporter of forced marriage is that natural selection means “open sex” with anyone and everyone.
They will bring in exceptions and rare issues where boys and girls have acted inappropriately when left alone.
None of these people will accept the middle ground where there can be a mythology of courting without “open sex”.
Eloping
Non Arranged marriages is considered synonymous to Eloping. Where the couple has to go and get married in secret and then face the parents.
The option that the boy meets the girl, they like each other, they talk and are sure that they will make a good couple then they introduce each other to the respective parents and get married with the blessing of both parents is completely forgotten and / or eliminated.
Devastating effects on Society
Psychological Effects
In a recent televised interview with the head of The National Psychological Association on a government sponsored and supported channel the person was stating that over 97% of people in this closed society have major psychological issuesxxxxxxi.
I was not shocked to hear these figures, this is bound to happen in any society where the normal mental growth of any human is curbed to the extent it is done in a closed society, where even talking to someone of the opposite sex is considered a SEXUAL ACT, where the most primal instincts of a human are curbed psychological issues will be rampant and will surface in every aspect of society.
Anger and frustration
Extremism
I have discussed earlier, the suicidal tendencies that are acceptable, condoned and even encouraged in the Mullah controlled Society of Pakistan.
These feelings are projected by the mother onto their children who grow up with the feelings that killing themselves is acceptable and if it could be acceptable for one reason it would be completely acceptable for a number of other reasons.
With the ground work for extremism already done by the family unit and the society as a whole; the only thing extremists have to do is ingrain into the youth that there can be a number of other reasons where this kind of behavior would be acceptable.
The society has created those same people who the society shuns on the six o’clock news as mass murderers, suicide bombers etc.
Blame others for everything
One of the major factors of taking away each and every decision from the young person is that he / she falls in the mindset of blaming anything and everything on someone else.
When the person does not have the right to make basic decisions in his / her life and all the decisions are made for him by someone else who think that they know more than anyone else.
Lack of a need to innovate
In any society or even in the animal kingdom, the male tries to excel in any and every way in the hope to attract the attention and approval of his prospective mate.
These basics are visible even in the Animal Kingdom, take the example of a Peacock, the male is equipped with beautiful feathers and displays them to impress the Peahen in hope for producing offspring and propagating the species.
Humans are very similar in this matter, the Male is tasked to earn a living and to excel in life so that he can improve the living standards and provide a comfortable environment for his family.
This improvement in living standards and providing a comfortable living is only possible if each and every member of society tries to improve their present situation which requires innovation or innovative ways to perform similar tasks easily and in a more efficient way hence being able to do more in the same available time.
This is known as Innovation which leads to an improved way of life at any level of Society.
A street Vendor can innovate and try to expand his / her business after he has successfully sold one product he can add a second one to his inventory hence selling extra without putting in extra effort.
Human nature dictates that Innovative thinking would only be possible if there is a desire in the person to achieve a higher goal / prize.
One of the biggest goals for any human male is to find the best wife he can and have a comfortable living. The decisions of this basic human desire once removed from the hands of a man eliminate his need to excel or to innovate. The result is that the Man just goes through is life as a zombie, will do exactly the same thing he has been taught and will wake up in the morning repeat those same tasks like a trained monkey and go to sleep.
Economic Impact of the Natural Selection
In the societies which practice Natural Selection we see that within a one generation of the society opening up from a closed / Forced Marriage society. The Males and in most cases the females start the innovative process and new projects and innovative ways of performing daily tasks / jobs is implemented all in the pursuit to excel.
These innovations will cause the man to perform the same tasks in lesser time which in turn will make him / her more productive.
We see in all open societies that innovation is the norm where each and every person wants to excel and improve their living standards.
Stagnation of Society
In both these societies we witness that within a couple of generations the desire, the need to excel, improve, to innovate has returned and in so doing the social and economic conditions of one of the poorest and improvised areas of the world has changed and now they are considered the most modern, upcoming and innovate areas of the world.
Reliance on Pornography
Pakistan does not rank number one in the world in many things but in a recent news item on BBC it was stated that the country which downloads and / or looks at pornography the most is Pakistan.
This did not come as a surprise to me, and single girls and boys are not the only ones who are going to these pornography sites. It is the married employed couples going there to full fill their desires which they can not fulfill in a loveless forced marriagexxxii.
The corruption of the gene pool
The biggest issue by far these forced marriages are causing is the degrading of the gene pool. Where the unmatched couple who should not even be in the same room as forced to live and breed together.
These miss matches will for sure produce off spring but these offspring’s are going to be the “GENTEIC ZOMBIES” and each and everyone of us have seen those all over the place in our daily lives.
It is very easy to identify these “Genetic zombies”, they fail to comprehend the simplest of instructions. It takes numerous times before they will even understand any instruction.
Unable to even comprehend anything other the training (which has taken years for them to master like a monkey) they have spend years to figure out in the first place.
Unable to comprehend any thing other than what they have been taught and will refuse to accept any different idea.
What does Islam say about Arranged marriages
Islam, being the only complete religion which totally conforms to science and natural laws has looked at this issue and has given a completely satisfactory answer.
In Islam, forced marriages are Haram, a marriage is only considered a proper marriage if it is with the free consent of both the bride and groom.
Most people will fulfill this requirement by make the bride and groom sit in front of them and after a thirty minute lecture which would include each and every method of blackmail known to them ask the youngster if it is ok for him / her to marry that person.
In other words, we are asking you to marry this person and your answer has to be “YES”.
This is known as coversion and does not comply with the sprit of the order given by the religion hence each and every arranged or forced marriage is illegal according to the religion.xxxiii
Killing and Murder
Killing is permitted only in case of defending oneself from physical and bodily harm but this fact is completely forgotten by the Mullah community and they either keep quite about the subject or fully endorsexxxiv the actions of Bothers and Fathers who go ahead and kill their sisters and daughters on the first inclination of the female even daring to meet some man even if she has done nothing wrong except for show interest in that man.
Suicide
It is surprising that the Mullahs of this country do not talk about the dire consequences Allah has prescribed to anyone who commits or thinks of committing suicide. In fact there is not a single instance where Islam has allowed a person to take his / her own life, no where there is an exception. It seems like the order by Allah clearly stating that killing oneself is completely and totally harm under any condition.
I am surprised that not one of the millions of the self proclaimed “Scholars of Islam” has made it his mission in life to stop people from committing and / or contemplating suicide.
Worse then the time of Jahaliya
I do not fail to smile at the hypocrisy of the Mullah population of Pakistan, they claim to be the standard bearers of Islam, the followers of the teachings of the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) while they follow exactly the social curses the prophet spent his life, before and after he was blessed with his prophet hood.
These same Mullahs will scream at the top of their lungsxxxv the evil which was being committed on the women of Pre Islam Mecca.
While they will sit ideally back and will not say a word when they hear about the sub human treatment of women in front of their eyes.
This society is become worse then the time of Pre Islam Mecca, those people did not know any better and had not been introduced to the “perfect ness” of islam and the holy Qur'an, those people had not been blessed with the perfect guidance of the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh).
If any one of these Mullah, sit ideally back and let these injustices continue they are worse then Abu Jahal and should be treated as such.
Who is to blame for this situation
The total blame for this situation of Kufr and this country falling below where the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh) found the evil doers of Mecca lies squarely on the shoulders of anyone who calls himself a “scholar of islam” and disgraces the sunna of the prophet by supporting a beardxxxvi, every single time he sits ideally by after an honor killing, when a girl is married to the Qur'an, when her inheritance is forcibly taken from her a major infarction of the laws of Allah has occurred, if these Mullahs can go on a rampage on the slightest provocation, I can assure you if they want to really follow islam they can very easily convince the population of this country to give the women of this country the rights ordered by the Qur'an.
Examples of Change
There are hundreds of examples of a society, moving from an Arranged Society to a society of natural selection and we see that within a couple of generations that society has done great things.
Chinese Society
In recent history we can take the example of the Chinese society as a very good example, this society had eliminated this Natural Requirement from its society for a few centuries where the women were either sold, bartered or given into “marriage” without their consent. The result was a stagnant society where Opium ruled and the Chinese nation was non existent. Right after the Chinese revolution the society …(?)
India Society
A very similar phenomena has occurred in India, especially the southern part of India where the culture has allowed and accepted the need for young men and women to meet and eventually get married.
Japanese Society
The sudden change in Pre and Post Second World War Japan caused the collapse of the Feudal “Sumarai” system in the country.
The society where the Feudal lords were forcing marriages for centuries was eliminated over night.
Within the next 25 years Japan emerged as one of the economic powerhouses of the world.
Korean, Singaporean, Malaysian Societies
Similar changes can be seen in the 20th century in all these societies.
TO BE COMPLETED
What is the solution
I have been approached by hundreds of young adults, a majority of them girls, who are scared and worried about being forced into slavery and bondage while it is called a Marriage.
All of these girls totally agree with my opinion and have wanted me to give them a solution to their plight.
“Wow, he is very open”
The people who have read this article have commented that I am very open and have talked about a number of subjects which out “culture” does not “allow” to be discussed openly.
The effects of this curse are so severe that we need to discuss this issue as often as possible in as many avenues as possible.
That is the reason why I have been as open as possible in this article. Time to stand passively and let millions of lives be destroyed has long passed.
i As a Professor as well as a Career councillor in a leading University, I run across this issue on a daily basis. A student will walk in my office and will want to do sub standard work and when I will refuse to let him / her get away with sub standard work, the first thing he will do is blame the “culture” for not letting him work as hard as he should. In a 3 month period I heard “This is not America, this is Pakistan” comment as an excuse 84 times from different people. It seems that this comment is so deeply ingrained in the psyche of the people that they have accepted it at as fact and will consider this as a VALID Reason for not putting in a good effort.
ii In a recent conversation with a respected teacher at a University on the subject of Co Education or segregated education. He accepted the fact that there is no difference in the contact level of male – Female in either place and tells me that he knows that there is more male - female contact going on in segregated schools (he tells me that he has also been in both segregated and coed schools and there is MUCH more “Things” happening in segregated schools). I was shocked to hear that even after he knows that there is no difference he has decided to send his daughter to a segregated school which a much lower standard of education because HE HAS TO AT LEAST PRETEND to follow the culture.!
iii A good example is represented in my article “when thieves teach” and “The true insulters of the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)
iv A student told me that he lost a letter grade in a class because he made a mistake of correcting a “Teacher”, when the teacher was teaching the wrong thing. This is exactly the example of the totally destructive ego which rules this culture.
v That is totally allowed in Islam as well. If a parent is doing something wrong, the children should not only not follow it. They are required to disobey the parents if the parents force them to follow it.
vi I have talked to a number of single girls and when ever I mention if they have tired to find a boy for them, the instant response they have is that they can not do any such thing because they “respect their parents”.
vii No younger person can know anything more than the elder. Only someone with major Ego issues will assume that
viii In a speech by the esteemed Dr. Ata ur Rehman, who has my total respect as a great academian, his advice to the present students was “QUESTION EVERYTHING!” his advice is accurate, but all a young persons life they have been brainwashed to exactly the opposite
ix In our society, a simple inquisitive question by anyone younger is considered “arguing” and can mean a stream of insults from the elder
x In my interview with Zahida a 23 year old newly married girl, she has a very big smile on her face that finally someone is talking openly about what she is going through.
She was shoved into a Forced Marriage, she was asked but her only choice was given was an affirmative answer. In the previous few weeks she has come to detest the person she is married to. She completely understood the Scientific explanation of Pheromones. Her next question was what to do about this situation. When I mentioned a DIVORCE her answer was Yeah Right! I can not even think of doing that and hope to live to see another day.
This is perfect example of how the divorce rate is kept low in countries where Forced marriages are common.
xi While invigilating, before the exam started I warned a class that I will not have a problem with cancelling the paper if I caught anyone cheating. One of the students was quick to compare the derogatory nature of getting a failed grade (and having to repeat the class) to the derogatory nature of getting a divorce. This is a good example of how this culture has turned a divorce into one of the biggest evils in our society.
xii This concept that a bride has to be a virgin on the wedding night is taken directly from the HINDU culture where in case of a husbands death the woman was even thrown alive in the Cremation fire known as SATI.
This society claims to be a Muslim society and claims to follow the example of the Prophet Mohammad. I would like to point out that the Prophets first marriage was with Hazrat Khatijah who had been married a number of times before SHE proposed to the Prophet.
This is the same Hindu Cultural influence where the only place in the world where the bride can wear RED is on her wedding night.
xiii This marriage will be successful if the couple can endure the constant tires by all people around them to try to break the wedding in their egoistic need to prove their point right that love marriages do not work.
xiv In case of a Widow this society is very quick to label her unlucky and a curse because she lost her first husband.
xv The best status this girl can achieve in life after a divorce or loosing her husband.
xvi In a recent conversation with a girl whose brother – in – Law was murdered by Mullahs told me straight out that her 25 year old sister is a widower and does not have a chance of getting a good husband now. Oh yes she does get proposals but all of them are not proposals of marriage but rather a position of a Nanny.
xvii In an interview with a widow, with tears in her eyes she told me that people were treating her as worse then a leper. They would avoid her in the market place, they had forbidden their children from meeting her, and she had lost her husband in an accident.
xviii Most of them have betrayed their parents trust and / or witnessed someone betraying that trust in their youth
xix In Indonesia, the girls were going to the gynecologists to get their hymn reattached before their wedding to fulfill this requirement by the groom.
xx Please remember that the ONLY culture which uses a RED dress is the hindu culture. The same Hindu culture where Sati was practiced due to the unacceptability of a widowed woman in society.
xxi In a number of families this dress is not to be washed and has to be kept soiled as evidence of virginity.
xxii Everyone has read and / or heard about the Internet Café scandal in Pakistan where 3 girls committed suicide and one girl was even killed by her father due to EGO of the father, he did not care about anything other then soothing his huge ego.
xxiii Not her real name
xxiv Physical abuse, emotional abuse are very common. It is not far fetched to hear stories where the girl was locked in her room for months or years like an animal.
xxv In a recent interview, the Girl had no desire to get married to this person who had shown up. Right after her mentioning her wishes to her parents her status at home fell from a family member to that of a servant. Her Spending money was stopped; her bank account was emptied by the father (in case she “RUNS” away from home. Her passport was hidden from her. Her status at home was reduced to nothing and it was made very clear with both actions and words that her presence in their home is a burden.
xxvii It is not uncommon for a girl’s family to entertain one inspection session after another on a weekly basis.
xxviii More often than not, lies start at this point. The Food is cooked by the mother or even a relative and is passed off as cooked by the girl. It is considered very important that the girl knows the most important cooking skills.
xxix Recently, I talked to a girl who had just had one of these Inspection sessions and when she said no, her mother was extremely upset and went on a long shouting session of emotional black mail of the girl. The father had to intervene and was sensible enough to put an end to the situation.
xxx These are not small mental issue. The whole society is being transformed into psychopaths with Pervert tendencies on the opinion of a pervert who ended up writing a book in the middle of a secluded desert in the middle 1700s
xxxi As a professor, I share a room with one of these Psychopathic Perverted Mullah “want to be’s” who threw a fit when some of my female students wanted to visit my office to get some scholastic advice.
His comments were “you are calling women into the office, this causes major disturbance and ruins the whole day”. This pervert does not see that the problem is not with the interaction with members of the opposite sex but with his mental perversion that forces these students to be separated so that these Mullahs do not get PERVERTED Ideas about every and any female that they happen to lay their eyes on.
xxxii I am sure that if these facts are reviled to any Mullah, he will immediately declare that the Internet is EVIL and should be banned in the country. What this Mullah will fail to see is that by not looking at the root cause of the problem and trying to rectify that root cause, the problem will remain and will surface in a hundred different way.
In this case the Root Cause is FORCED LOVELESS marriages
xxxiii At this point Mullahs will point out some of the Marriages of convince the Prophet (PBUH) asked his companions to perform. Those were special cases where there was a need for those women to be provided for and those cases can not be made the main way of forcing weddings for the whole society
xxxiv Please remember that Islam orders each and every Muslim to do what ever they can to stop a wrong from happening. If you do not do whatever you can then you are condoning and you are as guilty as the person committing that crime. It is very clear that all these Mullahs condone this action and they knowingly allow this kind of behaviour to continue.
xxxv While striving to get the most powerful loudspeaker system so they can even scream louder
xxxvi Please read my article “The true insulters of the Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)
i Stockholm syndrome
The four hostages in the Kreditbanken robbery sympathized with their captor (right)The Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in a hostage, in which the hostage exhibits seeming loyalty to the hostage-taker, in spite of the danger (or at least risk) the hostage has been put in. Stockholm syndrome is also sometimes discussed in reference to other situations with similar tensions, such as battered woman syndrome, child abuse cases, and bride kidnapping.
Origin of the name
The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg, Stockholm in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28, 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their victimizers, and even defended their captors after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term was coined by the criminologist and psychologist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast.
Capture bonding
An offshoot of the Stockholm syndrome is the aptly-used term capture-bonding defined as a bond that in some instances develops between captor and captive. The term is modelled on the Swedish woman who became so attached to one of the bank robbers who held her hostage that she broke her engagement to her former lover and remained bonded, or in bondage, to her former captor while he served time in prison.
Other uses
Outside of the criminal context, a form of the syndrome may take place in military basic training, in which "training is a mildly traumatic experience intended to produce a bond", with the goal of forming military units which will remain loyal to each other even in life-threatening situations.
Similarly, the effects of the "hazing" system of induction into groups such as fraternities and sororities have been compared to the syndrome. In cultural anthropology a similar symptom is common to bride capture situations.
Loyalty to a more powerful abuser — in spite of the danger that this loyalty puts the victim in — is common among victims of domestic abuse, battered partners and child abuse (dependent children). In many instances the victims choose to remain loyal to their abuser, and choose not to leave him or her, even when they are offered a safe placement in foster homes or safe houses. This syndrome was described by psychoanalysts of the object relations theory school (see Fairbairn) as the phenomenon of psychological identification with the more powerful abuser.
Evolutionary and psychoanalytic explanations
For an interpretation of the syndrome from the perspective of evolutionary psychology, see capture-bonding.
According to the psychoanalytic view of the syndrome, the tendency might well be the result of employing the strategy evolved by newborn babies to form an emotional attachment to the nearest powerful adult in order to maximize the probability that this adult will enable - at the very least - the survival of the child, if not also prove to be a good parental figure.
Taken from WIKIPEDIA
ii IS THIS ISLAM?
Girls dragged in streets, hacked to death
By Niaz Mohammad Khan
SANGHAR, Feb 23: The cruel custom of ‘karo-kari’ claimed another two lives when two village girls were dragged in the streets and hacked to death by their uncles, accusing them of having tarnished the family’s honour. The girls — first cousins — were buried without any religious rites and the family declined to accept condolences.
The gory incident took place on Thursday in the village of Allah Bux Brohi, near Shahpur Chakar. The two uncles surrendered to police. They said they had done the right thing and felt no remorse.
They told journalists that they had been informed at about midnight on Wednesday that the girls — Farida, 18, and Hamida, 22 — were missing from their room. They went in search of them and found them in a banana orchard with two men who ran away.
The two uncles have been identified as Khamiso Brohi and Imamdad Brohi.
HEY PPL,
EXCELLENT WORK.
It had broaden my views greatly.
Thanks,
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
if you like it.. please pass it on to as many people as possible. at this point i am expanding this article into a book.. and belive me i have enough material to turn it into a book..
regards,
Of course I will pass it to my friends.
You must compile it into a book. It will be a great work.
I think some other issues should also be included in that book which our society needs today. One of such big issues is ' Intollerence' which is ruining our society. Freedom of speech is also a basic human right but our entire society is so messed up that we even can't speak fully here due to this intolerence in our society.
Sex is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences that money can buy.
There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)
Posting Permissions
Reply With Quote
