I just got back from a visit to the southern Mexican state of Chiapas, and decided to make a two day stop over to Tecun Uman Guatemala. I had read the scant reports here and on the other board regarding this out of the way provider location and wanted to experience it for myself. This report is accurate and current at of the second week of August 2005.
About getting to Tecun Uman. If you are coming from Guatemala City take the Tapachula Mexico bus line, that bus stops right at Tecum Uman for customs and border crossing. I didn’t’ take this bus but from what I read at the bus station the bus from Guatemala City to Tecun Uman takes about six hours more or less.
If you are coming from Mexico, you will need to head south to the very southern tip of Mexico in the state of Chiapas. The road along the Pacific coast is a fairly good highway.
The last major city in Mexico is Tapachula, which is a fairly good sized city. From Tapachula take the main road south you will see two routes marked to Guatemala. DO NOT TAKE THE TALISMAN BRIDGE ROUTE, this is the main route but it leads you to the wrong crossing which is no where near Tecun Uman. Follow the sign to Ciadad Hidalgo, it is fairly well marked. It takes 45 minutes to get to Ciadad Hidalgo which is a fairly small less than spectacular Mexican village right on the border.
I parked my car at a hotel a couple of blocks from the border, paid the owner of the hotel 100 pesos or $10 USD to park my car in his lot for a couple of days. I was using a Mexican rental car which specifically forbid taking the vehicle into Guatemala. That combined with a warning by a local at my hotel back in Tapachula regarding extensive car theft in Tecun Uman led me to the pedestrian crossing.
I had a fairly uneventful customs crossing. The customs official tried to get me to pay a 20 Peso “tax” to cross. When I asked to see the regulation in print and wanted a receipt he quickly dropped the request.
After customs there are several people trying to trade Pesos or Dollars for Quetzal (or Q for short) which is currency of Guatamala. Unlike official money exchange booths, this is all done on a haggle basis. With just a little haggling I got a guy to trade Pesos to Quetzal for .7 Q to the Peso. This rate was what the official exchange rate was so I was happy to make the trade in such a quick and easy manner.
After changing currency there were an endless supply of trikes. These three wheeled bicycle type things that are used as taxis across the region. 10 Q will easily get you to El Centro (the central square).
Next I quickly found a local hotel with fairly nice rooms with air conditioning for 160Q or $21 USD per night. I wanted to get a room first to get rid of my overnight pack that I had with me and to have a base of operations for later adventures.
After procuring the hotel I hopped on another trike and asked to go to the “Zona Rojo” literally meaning the red zone which is the general term used in Spanish for the red light district of a town. The ride cost me another 10Q. For future reference if you walk directly north from the city square you will run into the market. From the market the Red Zone is one block to the west on the second intersection in the market heading north. This distance can easily be walked in just a few minutes, however since Tecun Uman is a rather rough town I was fine with paying the $1.30 USD for the ride. I have attached a photo of the zona rojo as seen looking down the street back toward the market.
The Red Zone consists of five or six bars mostly on the north size of a two block section of the street. I didn’t’ get the name of the street (sorry), but it is fairly obvious when you are dropped off which bars have girls. My first arrival at the zone was at about 3pm on a Friday afternoon. The place was very dead.
The bars are basic bars with open air doors. Each bar was playing Spanish music at loud volume. Upon entering any of these bars I found a group of between 5 and 20 or so girls. For the most part at each bar the scene was the same. There were very few customers and the girls looked bored out of their minds. It took me a couple of hours to hit all five or six bars checking out the overall selection.
The selection certainly was not the most appealing I have ever seen. The total from all five or six bars in the zone there were probably a total of 70 to 80 women working. Most of these women were fat and ranged in age from early 20s to late 40’s (more older ones than younger ones).
As I made my first round I would grab a seat in a bar, order an Auga Mineral (club soda) and assess the situation. I had no desire to get drunk drinking a beer or two in each bar. The situation was the same at each place, the girls were sitting around looking bored or talking to each other. When I came in I got some stares but none of the girls gave me the look or ever came over to talk with me. I would sit there and drink my soda and nothing would happen.
This was completely foreign to my past experiences in bars of this type. Most of the time as soon as you enter an establishment of this sort you have to peel the girls off of you because they are all trying to gain your attention. I was quickly beginning to think that Tecun Uman was going to be a huge waste of time.
After completing my round through the bars, I noted that of the limited selection, the best options available were at a place called “Lucy Bar” which is on the north side of the street in the first block off the market.
I headed back to the “Lucy Bar” and settled in for a couple of beers. The local Guatemalan beer called Gallo ended up being a pretty good brew and it was certainly cheap enough. A large bottle holding probably 32 oz was 20Q or just less than $3 USD.
At first when I got my beer and sat down, got the same no interest response from the girls. But eventually one of the pretty girls did happen to make eye contact and smiled. I smiled back. Soon she walks over and is standing smiling in front of me. I am your average middle aged white guy. I don’t speak Spanish fluently. My Spanish skills are basically limited to being able to order from a menu and being able to ask where the bathroom is (ok, well maybe I know a little more than that, but certainly not much more). I quickly learned she spoke absolutely no English. Which my limited spanish I eventually got it across that I was interested in spending some time with her.
Her name was Nancy, she was probably 20 years old, small and petite very cute. The bar tender, an older woman came over. She spoke English and from what I could tell she was basically the mamma of the house who set things up. I was told by the bar tender that the deal was 60Q ($7.80 USD) to go to the back room with Nancy.
I paid the bar tender the money and Nancy and I went to the back room. Nancy led me to her room. The back rooms were a rather depressing series of small cubicles in which it appeared that two girls slept at night and did business by day. When we got there Nancy’s bunk mate was sleeping we had to wait while she got up and left so that Nancy and I could do our business.
As soon as the bunk mate left Nancy closed the plywood door, immediately took off her clothes laid down and spread legs for me to mount her. Ok, she was a pretty but I am sort of into a little bit more foreplay than simply spreading her legs. I tried to get her to provide oral services she would not. I played with her tits a little, she didn't seem to enjoy it at all. In the end she would provide some manual stimulation to get me ready for entry. As soon as I was hard she slapped a condom on and laid back again legs spread.
She was very motionless and didn't even pretend to be enjoying it. So I gave it to her hard and fast in the missionary position for the 20 minutes or so it took to get the job done. The whole experience was completely mechanical and emotionless.
After the deed she started to quickly get dressed, but stopped when I held up a 10Q note and motioned to my camera. She allowed me to take three pictures and then it was all over. Basically I can’t complain, I banged the hell out of a pretty 20 year old for $7.80 US.
After my afternoon activities I left the bar and walked around the market and the central plaza a little. Tecun Uman is really not a town of any interest at all. In addition I quickly noticed that several of the men walking around the town were carrying pistols tucked in the waist band of their pants. With nothing really to see and no great desire to run into the wrong sort of people, I went back to my hotel for a shower and to rest for the evening adventure.
I headed back to the Zona Rojo at about 7pm that evening. Once again electing to take the trike taxi rather than walk around in a now dark town. I walked through all of the bars and found that the selection hadn’t really improved. All the bars had basically the same girls still there. There were several more customers in the bars at this time. All the customers appeared to be Mexicans or Guatamalians who were out for a bit of fun on the town. The best selection still appeared to be at Lucy Bar so I decided to head back over there for my nights hunting.
I quickly saw Nancy sitting with an older businessman, and from the empty bottles scattered around the table it appeared that he had been spending some time drinking with her. She saw me but made no eye contact. This was fine with me, she was a pretty lady, but provided below standard services so I wasn’t interested in another round with her.
There were probably 20 or so customers in the bar, all of them except me were Mexican or Gautamalians. I grabbed a table in the corner and started observing the action.
One interesting thing I have noticed having spent some time around Latan American establishments of this nature is that for the most Mexican men enjoy spending more time drinking and dancing with the women than American customers do. Several tables had a men with one of the girls and several empty bottles scattered about the table. Occasionally one of these pairs would get up and dance to one of the songs being played on the juke box. I guess this is cultural difference but these men quickly spend much more in alcohol than they would if they simply paid for the girl’s time. Oh well to each their own.
After a little bit I noticed two attractive looking girls sitting in the corner. I attempted to make eye contact with one of them, but ended up getting both other their attention. They both came over and sat down. I thought I had just caused myself a problem. I wasn’t interested in buying these girls lots of drinks and I figured it would be more difficult to seal a deal with either of them, with the other sitting there. But they were both there so I decided to at least buy them a drink and then decide on which one.
One of them spoke very limited English the other spoke none. Their names as much as I could figure out were Elaine and Clair. Both were probably in their early 20s. Elaine was fairly tall, she was not thin, but was a good shape with a flat tummy and nice large boobs. Clair was very short and thin with especially small tits.
Since language was a bit of problem we couldn’t really talk much but they both seemed very attentive to me. putting their hands on my leg and sitting with their bodies touching mine. I responded by placing a hand on each of their upper inner thigh and lightly rubbing. They both seemed fine with me giving attention to both of them at the same time.
Clair noticed that I was peeking down Elaine’s neck line admiring her boobs, she commented in Spanish about chi chi’s which I understand to mean tits. She then took my hand that had been resting on her thigh and put it firmly on her small tit. She smiled as I started feeling her tits through her blouse right there in the bar. Elaine smiled and took my other hand and put it on her ample tit. So there I sat feeling two women’s tits in a bar. I attempted to take Clair’s hand and put it on Elaine’s boob to see if they would be accommodating for any girl on girl action. Clair allowed this, but I could tell neither of them was really interested in touching each other.
Well I was at the point of figuring out what to do. Both women were good looking and both of them appeared to be very willing to please me. But neither of them was interested in touching each other that much. I decided to tell them as best as I could about what I wanted to see if one of them was more willing to comply.
Again the language barrier was a bit of a problem. But with my limited Spanish and Elaine’s limited English I got it across that I was interested in spending several hours back at my hotel with a lady and that I would expect uncovered oral pleasure to be a part of the activities. Both girls seemed more than willing to do this. When I started to try and ask which would be willing to go Elaine spoke to Clair in Spanish and then to me in English saying that both of them would go with me. We talked further (again the language barrier was a bit of an issue), I figured out that they would both be willing to go and would both be willing to do what I had asked, BUT they would not do anything to each other. I had been with two women before, its ok not really my favorite, and I already knew that they weren’t into touching each other. But considering the situation and the fact that I would only have one night in town I decided to take the chance.
They called the same bar tender over who had earlier set up the deal with Nancy. They spoke to her in Spanish for a while. The bar tender asked me what I wanted. I explained that I wanted to take both women to my hotel for several hours. The bar tender said that it would cost me $100 USD for each girl to go with me for the night. I said no. I was not going to pay $100 for each girl for the night. We talked longer and eventually I agreed on $100 USD for both girls for the night. They really liked that I paid them in US Dollars. Funny, I would have expected them to prefer the local currency, but when I offered to pay in either currency the bar tender quickly jumped at the offer to be paid in US Dollars (which was fine with me since that would mean that I would not have to change any more money or find an ATM).
When we got back to the hotel the desk clerk which was a woman by now gave me a look of total disgust and pointed out that I had paid for a double room and that I would have to pay for the additional person. She also took a look at both girls IDs and wrote down the information in the hotel log. I took the opportunity to glance at the ID’s as well. Elaine’s name wasn’t Elaine, but it was some much longer variation on Elaine and she was 24 years old. Clair was in fact named Clair and she was 19 years of age.
Elaine showered first while Clair and I spent a little bit of time together. When Clair was naked she was an absolute doll. She was just about 5 feet tall and weighed no more than 90 lbs. She had very small but firm tits and a very hairy little bush (her legs were not shaves as well, which I personally don’t like but the hair wasn’t to bad so it wasn’t a problem). When Elaine stepped out having showered I saw that her body wasn’t as fresh. Elaine still had a fairly nice figure but she had had a baby and had very noticeable stretch marks. However her tits were still very firm and appeared to be a full D cup! Plus she had a shaved pussy which I always enjoy.
The night’s activities went fairly well. Basically the way it worked was that I would spend some time with Elaine while Clair pretended to sleep or sat watching TV, then I would spend time with Clair while Elaine assumed the pretend sleep or TV mode. They firmly held to their now physical contact between them rule which was fine considering I knew that going in.
As for quality of services I received. Clair appeared to be fairly new at this game. Her actions appeared inexperienced and she was shy. Elaine was very experienced and provided great service in all areas.
Each of them in turn provided multiple uncovered oral attention and covered penetration in multiple positions. They made very sure that I changed condoms when ever I changed partners. I was just in the middle of doing Elaine for the third time (this time doggie style) when I hear a ring coming from her purse. It was her cell phone going off and I immediately I knew that my time had just come to an end. True to form, Elaine jumps up immediately from what she was doing answers her phone. When she is done with the call she in clear English tells me that that was the bar tender and that they have to go back to the bar now.
My initial response was to be upset because I had paid for all night. But I quickly decided that I had just spent four solid hours having non stop sex with two very pretty women I looked at my watch out saw that it was after 2 in the morning. So I decided that I was perfectly happy to have them leave now so I could sleep soundly the rest of the night and head out in the morning.
When I pulled out the camera and asked if I could take pictures they both refused firmly. I tried to get them to agree by offering them additional money, but again the both said that they had to go.
They got dressed and then asked for a tip and money for the trike. Now, I had had good service and the price had been reasonable. BUT, as a matter of principle I refused to tip either of them and I refused to pay for their taxi saying that they had agreed to stay the night and were leaving early. Elaine tried a second time to get an additional tip, but quickly gave up when she saw that I was not going to give in.
I dismissed them and was in the process of getting the room cleaned up to get some sleep when I had a knock on the door. I put on my shorts and opened the door to find a security guard (complete with gun in a holster) at my door and the two ladies. My immediate reaction was oh hell I am caught in some sort of scam. But my fears quickly left when I realized that he was simply making sure that I knew that they were leaving. I assured him that I was ok with them leaving, and I gave him a tip for doing his job (Elaine glared at me when I gave him the tip having not given her one).
As I was getting ready to go to sleep when I noticed that one of them had stolen my tooth brush, tooth paste, hair brush, shapoo and all the soap out of the bathroom. I quickly checked the rest of my gear but everything else was in place. The fact that one of them stole the items didn’t make me mad, actually I felt sorry for them. I would have happily given either of them a brand new tooth brush, some tooth paste, a hair brush and soap had they simply asked for it. From what I saw about the rooms that they live in their life is hard. The next morning I headed back across the border to Mexico and on with the rest of my trip.
In the end I had spent four happy hours with two pretty women. I had a multiple shot session over those four hours and had gotten what I had expected all for $100 USD. I had paid for what I had thought was an all night session which ended up being only four hours, but all in all it was a pretty good experience.
In other reports in this thread Tecun Uman has been referred to as a Tijuana of the south or as a possible new mongering destination. My evaluation is that if you happen to be in the area (which isn’t easy to do) it is worth a day or two for a visit. The price is right, and you can get the deal done. BUT, I certainly would not plan a mongering trip to visit Tecun Uman.
There are two primary reasons that simply do not make it a destination location. First, Tecum Uman is a nasty town that appears fairly dangerous, offers few comforts and has absolutely nothing to do. And second, the selection of girls is limited and the overall quality is poor. Of the 70 or so girls that were working while I was there maybe 10 of them were young and reasonably attractive. All in all there are certainly better options for a mongering trip than this.